A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello there! I would love some advice on this. I have been married for two years to a wonderful guy. But we have been having family issues for quite some time now, fighting and arguing and me crying. I got transferred to a new place a month back and it's very far from home. I couldn't do anything but to move here because at the moment we cannot afford to lose my job. In my work place I have made new friends and we often go out for drinks and food etc. I think I'm falling for a guy in my friends group. Let's just call him A. He is 6 years younger than me. I find him very attractive and some times I catch myself day dream about him during work. I know it's very wrong as I love my husband and I know he would never cheat on me. I don't even want to start anything with A, I don't even think he has any feelings towards me. We get on well and we just can't stop talking when we meet. I don't want to be in this situation at all. I have never felt this way before. What should I do? Am I wrong to find someone else other than my husband very attractive? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 June 2017):
 Sweetie it is okay to be attracted to other men, you do still have eyes. Its the fact if you are going to act on it or not that is the worrying bit. You mention that you and your husband fight argue and you cry, maybe you should look at your marriage and see what can change? Are you happy? Is he? Again it is okay to look but make sure you are always with a group off friends, don't over step the mark and work on your marriage.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (21 June 2017):
 We don't become blind and deaf to the attraction of other people, just because we are in a relationship. HOWEVER, how we act on that attraction defines us morally.
You are very vulnerable at the moment. You are far from home, your marriage is not in a good condition and you are having your head turned by new "friends". Let's be honest, if the situation arose, you WOULD have an affair with this guy. You are testing the water to see what people will say.
As I see it, you have 3 choices: try to forget the bad state your marriage is in by diverting your thoughts and feelings towards this new guy, make a concerted effort to try to save your marriage by staying away from this new guy as much as possible or draw a line under your marriage and be single again to do what you want.
Can you apply for a transfer to somewhere nearer home? Do you have to go out with these new friends every time they go out? Can you not chat with other people, instead of this new man?
I think you need to decide just how important your marriage is to you, then take it from there.
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