A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:MY ex is giving me mixed messages. He tells me he just wants to be friends but then he calls me at night to talk about everything going on in his life, invites me out to see him (he moved to another state), and still wants to sleep together.Should I just completely cut it or live with hope that we are going to get back together. Am I just being used? Please note that I still love him and want to work on our relationship.
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female
reader, carolinecc  +, writes (27 June 2008):
firstly i'm sorry you still love this person , but as hard as it might be to face he wouldnt of broke up with you or moved to another state if he wanted to be with you properly , he is using you , although he might not realise how selfish he is being , my advice would be to tell him how your feeling , and if he says its just friendship that he wants from you , then however hard you must tell him you cant be friends with him right now , and that you need time to get over him . if he doesn,t understand that then he is very cruel expecting you to hear his problems knowing how you still feel about him , if you dont talk to him for a while you will soon find out how he feels , as if he still loves you he will be in touch at some point , and if not then your better off without him , and you should know your worth alot more than the way he is treating you right now , and your mr right will be along and make you feel loved and then you will think back to this and be grateful that it did end , even though you dont feel think that right now. hope this has helped and i wish you lots of luck for the future
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): Although you love him, it's no reason to let yourself get walked all over. You deserve a lot better. It sounds to me like this man knows he can have you when he wants you, so he leans on you only when he's desperate and wanting someone to talk about himself with or have a roll in the hay with. He himself is telling you that you and him are going to remain just friends, so I would let go of that false hope of you two getting back together. It just doesn't sound like it is going to happen. If you want to see how he really feels about you, you absolutely can't let yourself get used in this way. Distance yourself from him. When he calls you at night, tell him your busy with friends, even if you're not. Make him realize he can't just have you whenever he wants you. That way there, if he really does care for you, he'll work harder and try to be better for you, but if he doesn't, he'll simply give up, and frankly, you won't be missing out on much. Right now, though, you are being used, and regardless of what happens down the road, you just can't let yourself be his doormat any longer. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope to hear updates from you! Stay strong!
-RJGirl
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