I can't get my ex out of my mind. Do I try to become good friends with him? Or do I try and forget him?

A female age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi. About a month ago my boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me. I know it sounds silly, because we weren't together very long, but I REALLY miss him. My family loved him as he was so level-headed and we've had many amazing memories. He treated me perfectly. Texting everyday, always complimenting me, and stuck up for me when I got into problems with friends. However, after the summer we went to different colleges and we live a 30 minute walk away. I was worried that we weren't going to get to see each other often, but he reassured me we would and we seen each other for a few hours a couple of evenings a week. Things seemed to be going fine, until he decided to end things. He said that I was a brilliant girl, the best girlfriend he's had, but he couldn't put in the effort anymore, and we should try to concentrate on our studies. He said I was the first girl he'd ended it with in person, because I deserve better than a lousy text. He was really apologetic too. We're still friends and I occasionally text him. But he seems hesitant to meet up. I can't get him of my mind, and I feel so lonely without him. A friend said that he may have been scared about his feelings, that's why he called things off. But I don't know what to think. And I'm unsure of his feelings. Do I try to become good friends with him? Or do I try and forget him?

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A male reader, Advice_man  +, writes (20 October 2011):

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