A
female
age
36-40,
*mbarr
writes:I’ve recently met a guy who I’ve had a growing interest in. Despite him being 4 years younger me, and the fact that we come from slightly different cultures. Same religion, and he lived in the States for a while, but he’s lived in an Asian country most of his life (I’m currently living in said country and he just moved back). He has a brother who is the same age as me, but we don’t really mesh. We’ve casually known each other for about a month. We met up with a big group for dinner about 2 weeks ago, and even though he sat clear across from me he made a point to ask me if I liked my food, but that was just because we ordered the same thing. Then, he friended me and the other American girl in the group on FB soon after (we go to the same church, so not surprising). We just started really interacting last week, when he came to a dinner and movie with me and 2 other girls. He asked me if I knew about this church meeting that we were both supposed to go to. I said I didn’t know the address, so he said he’d send me directions. This was Wednesday and by Saturday I hadn’t gotten any directions, so I shot him a message. Maybe 10 minutes later I got a whole bunch of messages, one after another. He sent a map, which he’d drawn on and all these messages that made me laugh. The next day I managed to find my way to the bus stop and he walked me to the meeting. While we were waiting for it to start, it was like he’d just developed ADD. He was looking all over the place, fiddling with something, never really fully paying attention to anyone in the room. He did focus in on some rings on my hand at one point and I started to tell him about how I’d lost one that went with the set. We got kind of close while I was explaining the design, and all of a sudden he was jolting back and I was confused, kind of hurt. We left the meeting with a group, but I ended up with just him in the end as I was trying to figure out where to go to catch a bus home. His dad had been in the group, and now that I think about it, the fact that he pulled the other two people aside to talk seems suspicious…We talked as he walked me to the bus stop so I wouldn’t get lost. He asked me what was in my area (I live a ways away from any hotspots) and then asked me what I did in my free time. The bus was just coming, so we parted ways then. When I got home I sent him a message thanking him for his help. A conversation ensued. He is learning a little Spanish, working at a Mexican food restaurant, and I told him to tell me what he learned. A group of mutual friends and I were going to his work the next day, so I saw him again and he would say a Spanish phrase here and there to me. I thought he’d forgotten to fill my water at one point, but he came to me last instead and said another Spanish phrase. He made the point to ask me directly if I enjoyed my food, after asking the group in general too. I’m painting a pretty good picture here, right? The problem is that he’s never really initiated our chats on IM so far, and I don’t know if he’s just being friendly or might actually like me. And then there’s the problem where I get terribly shy in person and maybe he’s shy too… I don’t know. Help?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 June 2014):
 It is still really early days with this friendship so try and not read to much in to it. It can be hard to know if there are any romantic feelings there this early on as he may not know how to talk to you or what to say. He is showing some interest in you as a person so far so maybe suggest you both meet up for dinner and try and get to know each other. It will become easier to read him when you both have established a friendship. Good luck.
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