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Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > I knew I was old when

I knew I was old when

Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

I first said, "these kids today..."

Posted on 22 April 2008 @ 23:48 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

In my day you never had to lock your door, we couldn't afford doors, we were so poor the mice laid traps for us. Kids today got no respect why only this morning I boxed a young whippersnapper around the ears for standing around the playpark doing nothing but "waiting for mummy" and the 5 year-old brat didnt even have the grace to thank me. Dry your eyes and join the bloody army cry baby. I fought for the country y'know ...during the war blah blah Hitler... mutter mutter Churchill mumble mumble......*falls asleep dribbling on dirty vest*

Posted on 23 April 2008 @ 0:8 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

I couldn't go into a shop because the music was crap!

Posted on 23 April 2008 @ 1:13 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

When I had two gentlemen retirees turn their bar stools around so that they could check me out... Although no one has ever offered me a seniors discount yet so perhaps they thought I was a sweet young virgin! HA! Come and join me, the air here is a bit thin, but chocolate grows on trees and housekeepers work for free!

Posted on 23 April 2008 @ 4:54 (London time) - permalink
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TELLULAH, posted over a year ago

I found out that you get grey hairs down below, from watching sex and the city. That made me feel old!! because before I would have laughed. Now i am worried that I might have one and am to scared to look.

Posted on 23 April 2008 @ 10:10 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Shave the buggers then you'll neva know!!!!Ive been going grey sinse I was 16 bloody 16 WOTS THAT ALL ABOUT!!!!!!!!Found out when I met my birth father the silver haired don of bloody weymouth!!!!!

I realised I was getting old when I fell off the podium at the club nearly strangled myself and got thrown out by a woman bouncer!!!!!laughing I said isnt it enough that I was nearly strangled hun, She said your so n so's mum are'nt you....WHOOPS!!!!!!Poor so n so LOL!!!!!!!!!

Posted on 23 April 2008 @ 11:8 (London time) - permalink
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TELLULAH, posted over a year ago

I can go better than that Mandy!! I was in a night club (this was a year ago) having a great old time dancing with my mates, when a guy came up behind me and started dancing with me. After a while I turned around because he had his hands round my waist, and shock horror!!! it was my own Son. He shouted f**k its my Mum, and ran off. I thought it was really funny, but he hasnt been the same since.

I dont go to them anymore, on request.

Posted on 23 April 2008 @ 13:8 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

TELLULAH! YOU look FABULOUS Hun!

OMG that's a riot! I can picture it all happening in my head, I bet that would make a good movie scene. I know my two won't even dance if I'm in the room! Thank God for the occasional wedding! So, I was at the "Mid-Western Beauty Suppliers Show" and THEY had a booth called "Oh Betty". They sold hair dye so that 'your collar would match your cuffs' (if your collar was bright green or blue!), and their slogan was, "Is Your Betty Ready?" I think the beauty of menopause is that your waistline balloons up and you can't bend over enough to see if your hoo hoo has gone grey or not... Ooooh - time for coffee...

Posted on 23 April 2008 @ 15:8 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Oh Tellulah! Thats really funny, Kids eh! its pay back time when they grow up! Thats what I say, I did get barred from one night club wont say why!!!!! ON MY SONS 18th! They let me back in for my handbag and to let my little angel know I would be popping to the next club, The bouncers in that one though it all very funny HA! BLOODY HA! I was allowed back in..But there are smiles all around if I do go, oh! To live on such a compact little rock! :)

Posted on 23 April 2008 @ 15:39 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

"I found out that you get grey hairs down below, from watching sex and the city."

Really Tellulah? Never realised you can get grey pubes from watching the telly!

You know you're getting old when you look at your daughters teen friends and your only thoughts are their mini skirts are completely unsuitable for the weather. :)

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 8:29 (London time) - permalink
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TELLULAH, posted over a year ago

Wizard of Waz. Ha! bloody Ha!.

You do make me laugh. See! I told you I come out with some stupid statements. I get it from my Nan, she passed away years ago but was aparantly just as daft as me.

I used to go and see her with my liitle brother in tow, everyday after school. One day she had a large plate of Brazil nuts, that she offered to us. Being the greedy pigs that we were, we scoffed them down. When we got to nearly the end of the plate she said "I only like the chocolate off them", we both looked at each other and made a hasty retreat. Yes you guessed it, she had sucked all the chocolate off the nuts and left them for us.

Eewwwwwwww!! Still cant eat them.

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 10:45 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

I realised how old I was when I couldn't figure out how to open my grandson's baby buggy ~ nobody told me I needed a degree in bleedin' rocket science....

...I ended up carrying him for a mile and a half!!!

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 11:32 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Ewww yuk yuk Tellulah. I'm surprised your nan didn't yell "Wot a feckin liberty!!" at you all. :-)

That reminds me of the story some poor middle-aged lass sent to one of our rags. Went something like this..

"I was in the motorway caff and bought a cofee and Kit Kat and sat down opposite this young man. I took the kit kat from the plate unwrapped it and took a peice and put it down again. The young man smiled. I smiled back.

And then he lifted the kit kat and broke a finger off and ate it. What a cheek I thought. I took another bit and he smiled again....and then took the last bit off the plate and scoffed it!

What a liberty!To teach this young hoolingan manners I grabbed his cream bun and began to eat is slowly and with great relish right in front of his shocked gaze.

Feeling satisfied that I had put him well and truly in his place I left.

When I got to the car when searching my handbag for the keys I found the Kit Kat that I had just bought ..."

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 11:33 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

#1.

My father, who is 84 this year and lives 300 miles away from me came to visit for a week. Doing a spot of gardening, my next door neighbour asked me over the hedge if he was my brother.

My Aunt who was aged 86 at the time, spent the last few years of her life in a residential home, having completely lost her marbles and gone doolally. I went to visit her during a summer fete that the home had organised. I was queuing up for a cup of tea and a bun in the refreshment tent when another visitor asked me if I was a resident.

Dad and I are still referred to as 'The Brothers' in family circles. I must admit though, he does look extremely good for his age.

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 12:37 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Another sign of getting old is when you repeat things over and over again. How about this sign of getting older..it's when you repeat things over and over again. Didn't I just say, that another sign of getting old, is when you repeat things over and over again?

Guilty here!! I do this much too often...lol

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 15:14 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Eh, what's that you said, Irish? Eh? Could you stop speaking so softly?

Now where did I leave my specs?

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 15:31 (London time) - permalink
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Jamer70, posted over a year ago

Im not that old but even i have said "these kids today" when i see them acting stupid. Then seconds relising i was that stupid barely 7 years ago.

Secondly i felt old when i saw snow and instead of thinking "yay snow day" i said to myself "this will cause traffic problems i should leave ealier"

Life is too short

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 16:13 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Three little old ladies discussing age.

The first one says "You know, my memory is getting so bad, that if I have the fridge door open, I can't remember if I have gone into the fridge to get something, or if I've just put something away!"...

The second old lady says "I know what you mean! If I stop in the landing on the middle of the stairs, sometimes I can't remember if I have gone upstairs to get something, or if I am coming downstairs again!"...

The third little old lady says "Oh, My Dears, I am so sorry for both of You! I've Never had problems like that with My Memory! Knock On Wood!"

She knocks on the table...

"Is somebody at the door?"

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 18:48 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

TRISH! I almost forgot a good one...

Yep! Recently I went into the dry cleaners and was bitching that I couldn't read my bill because I had just misplaced my glasses. The pre-pubescent girl behind the counter started asking questions like "Are they black?" and "Do they have triangular lens?" and I thought that I had left them behind from a previous visit... NO SUCH LUCK!!! She was just feeding me lines until I clued in that they were on my head...

I'm hoping that she runs into herself in the future... Time is a great leveler!

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 18:55 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Birdy, I love that one. About a month ago, I was asking my spouse, where he had put the pencil I had just been writing with. Then realized I couldn't be understood as I had been mumbling through same pencil which was firmly clamped between my teeth!

Uncle Phil, I expect your dad is so pleased he looks like a younger man! And Jamer, great catch on the snow day, I now just see them as a day when I have to shovel the drive.

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 19:35 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Interesting topic, Tisha. But nobody mentioned he was actually born old... as in the myth with Zeus and his brothers born with long hairs and beards lol... anyone??

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 19:57 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

LOL bitterblue, good question!

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 21:2 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Which reminds me, I need to schedule my wax appointment to deal with the little hairs on my lip...

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 21:3 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Only Wizards are born with beards BB. :-p

Did you know that ageing females grow extra hands?

Or haven't you heard of the expression; "Going through the manypaws"?

Us wise wizards know these things.

Posted on 24 April 2008 @ 23:0 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

You heard of the seven dwarves of menopause?

Itchy

Bitchy

Sweaty

Sleepy

Bloated

Forgetful

and Psycho.

Posted on 25 April 2008 @ 22:44 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

I have lost a number of family members to dementia and Alzeimer's, and we got through it by trying to keep our sense of humor.

The funniest thing that happened to a friend of ours dealing with this was on a visit to her Grandparents. Her grandfather had been on a slow slide for years and her Grandmother was the main caregiver. He recently had disappeared outside for a few hours at a time, and it had become a huge worry to everyone. They figured out that he had regressed ten years and he was actually out searching for their dog - who had died ten years ago. When my friend visited, she was perplexed and asked her Grandma about the post-notes on the front, back and sliding doors and heard about the Grandfather's recent disappearances. There - on each door - was a post it that said - THE DOG IS DEAD.

It took about an hour to stop the tears from rolling down our faces and the fits of giggles after she told me. But honestly, it you didn't laugh, you'd cry, so laughter through tears is possibly the best answer, right?

Posted on 26 April 2008 @ 1:4 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

If we're talking families here, I remember one evening mum and dad came home from a wedding, dad had had a couple of drinks too many, anyway he went into the kitchen to do his usual thing before going up to bed.

He'd taken his false teeth out and removed his hearing aid, he then put the hearing aid in the glass of steradent and his teeth in the medicine cabinet.

Well you could imagine the laughs we had the next morning when he saw them, and he swore blind we'd done to wind him up! Bless.

Posted on 26 April 2008 @ 11:14 (London time) - permalink
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birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Hey! I was at a seminar today and I missed your smiling face! Sounds like you were a hit!

Posted on 27 April 2008 @ 0:53 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I used to work with Alzeimer's, and this lady I looked after bless her used to hide the milk and all the food in the fridge used to disapear, Then she would say someone had pinched it of course not remembering she had...Good job I new her hiding places I found prawns in her handbag, the milk was always in the safe and the rest of the fridge was hidden in her bedroom cupbourds..But I never found the fish one week, I no what you me birdy you have to laugh or you'll cry...GREAT JOB THAT LOVED IT :)

Posted on 27 April 2008 @ 4:42 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

When I was younger, proximity to a pretty woman would soften up these hard old arteries and harden up that one down below. Now well not so much.

Posted on 11 May 2008 @ 7:50 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

You realise how old you are when you start comparing these two dates....1977 ~ 2008

1978: Long hair

2008: Longing for hair

1978: KEG

2008: EKG

1978: Acid rock

2008: Acid reflux

1978: Moving to California because it's cool

2008: Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1978: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

2008: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1978: Seeds and stems

2008: Roughage

1978: Hoping for a BMW

2008: Hoping for a BM

1978: Going to a new, hip joint

2008: Receiving a new hip joint

1978: Rolling Stones

2008: Kidney Stones

1978: Screw the system

2008: Upgrade the system

1978: Disco

2008: Costco

1978: Parents begging you to get your hair cut

2008: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1978: Passing the drivers' test

2008: Passing the vision test

1978: "Whatever"

2008: "Depends"

Just in case you still weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Here's list of people who are starting college this year across all nations ~ who were born in an around 1989:

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine and they have always had cable. They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show and popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who The Fonz was and they never heard of Mork or where he came from. They don't care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. even is.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

And finally...they don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Now do you feel old?

xXx

Posted on 11 May 2008 @ 16:21 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

AT THE END OF THE DAY WHATS OLD HUNNY?

We can party better! keep up with the young and still be standing! been there done it and always got the T-shirt, we r hot on the pole, cause we have used the mop for so long, and we r so much easier to understand when pissed HA! NIGHT OUT YOUR PLACE OR MINE! LOVE N HUGS ME XXXXXXXXX

Posted on 11 May 2008 @ 20:51 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

at the end of the day whats old?? ME!

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 1:11 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Oh dont be so down on yaself sweety your young at heart so that makes you young full stop!!!!!How old are you? Im cheeky eh! im 45 in body and about 20 in heart soul n spirit CHEER UP ME DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!BIG HUGS N BIG SMILES (:0)(:0) I'll do the B(.)(.)B ONE FOR YA NOW THAT SHOULD GET A LITTLE SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!XXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 9:48 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

Mandy and Q.T ....I've said it before and I'll say it again...we are all as young as the men or women we feel...NICE!!

...AND....acting our shoe size and not our real age is just so much more fun, I'm sure you agree.

: ^ b

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 11:7 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Hunny Im always as old as the guy I feel , maybe younger as me shoe size is 5 I'll never grow up! As I said to my son yesterday when he was having a hissy fit "OH GROW UP" When you! do he said, Ok fair enough but stop stammpin your fookin feet then! TEE! HEE! :)

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 12:34 (London time) - permalink
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