Abortions!!!!!!!!!

jamiexox, posted over a year ago

ok i know this is a touchy subject some agree some disagree.. but last week i undertook an abortion... but i dont feel any guilt!!!! and im wondering is this normal, or is it because i know it was the right situation.

just to explain a little more two weeks ago i found out i was 5 weeks preggers, as soon as i found out i got in contact with my boyfriend and told him.. while in floods of tears, im only 20 he is 27. that night after a stiff drink we sat and talked about what we where going to do!!! we both are very much in love but not ready for a baby, we sat and wrote down the positives and negetives of y we should/nt keep the baby.. all in all the negetives shone through.. im not in the job i want to be in.. returning to uni next year after a year out, he is a very sucessfull business man with his own company etc, so money wasnt the problem.. just really me!!! not being where i want to be... but i was talkin to a friend and she was sayin a bet your really upset right now... but the answer was NO!!! im not and i dont know if i should be or not... i know i will prob get a few comments back sayin that they dont agree in what i did.. but its my life my choice and it was the right one for me.. any help on this???

Posted on 9 December 2007 @ 18:28 (London time) - permalink
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jamiexox, posted over a year ago

sorry think i should add that it was protected sex... got caught out with antibiotics 2 weeks after i was on them

Posted on 9 December 2007 @ 18:46 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I know how you feel i had an abortion at the age of 17. too young with the wrong person etc. My mam and dad thankfully, wished me off to the drs then hospital and it was soon all over. I skipped out of there, so relieved that it was all over. Everyone has the right to make there own minds up and their own decision about having a baby. Dont feel guilty! I never have. I am with you all the way. Sending you big hugs.

take care xxx

Posted on 10 December 2007 @ 1:38 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

whoops that should of said Whisked, must get off to bed now Nite nite.xx

Posted on 10 December 2007 @ 1:39 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

The controversy with abortion is that those that disagree with abortion do so because they believe that life begins at conception so you weren't making a decision for just your life, but rather terminating someone else's life, an innocent one who had no say in the decision of their life.

Science of course disagrees with this view, and instead holds, with considerable evidence, that what constitutes a human being begins far later into the stages of pregnancy and what, in your case, was being terminated was simple based tissue - nothing more.

You're lucky to feel no negative feelings about your abortion, because many women go through a lot of emotional turmoil - but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong - perhaps this often guilt is manifested from a society so deeply entangled in more primitive judeo-christian morality. Each women will go through this experience differently and this is exactly the point of why other people shouldn't think to presume they should get involved so healthily in someone else's life choices.

With access to both sides of the abortion debate, you, and any women, is free to make their own decisions, and don't let anyone else tell you differently.

Religious fundamentalists aside, who perhaps should more safely be likened with the mentally insane and drug addicted crazies, most normal people, do not have an underlying self-satisfying interest and will allow you to live your own life and not push on their own problematic guilt-ridden agenda on to your otherwise life of free choice.

Posted on 10 December 2007 @ 10:13 (London time) - permalink
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Oblivia, posted over a year ago

You and your boyfriend made a mutual, mature decision based on your life situation, I think that is one reason you don't feel guilt, why would you feel guilt for being a responsible person? Your friend was probably only worried about you and wanted to tell you that she was there for you if you were upset. It is a hard decision to make, I'm sure it was even for you, and some people get upset when standing before such a difficult decision. It doesn't mean you have to feel guilt, not at all. And one day you may have another child who will then be brought up in a good home with responsible and happy parents.

Good luck with your studies next year!

Posted on 16 December 2007 @ 12:43 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

You did not harm a child you ended the potential of a childs life. For me there is a huge difference. And as well as you would have raised him or her the child you bare when the time is more right will live up to that potential. You are not using abortion as birth control. You took precautions and you fell into that small statistic that gets pregnant anyway. Since you are forward looking why does anyone have to know. Aside from the two most affected people. At the age of twenty my girlfriend got pregnant. She informed me and also stated that whatever I thought of the matter she would be terminating the pregnancy. I told her while respecting her wishes I would also be there for her and for our child. At twenty what did I know. Luckily when it comes to real life altering issues women can be incredibly logical and not ruled by emotion like I. I think I would have liked to have kept it but in retrospect it was a way to keep in a failing relationship with a woman I desperately loved. Even then I put no pressure on her. And after two marriages where in the first my wife convinced me to have a vasectomy even though we were childless and a second where my wife wanted to get it reversed and have a child together ...I still think it was by far the wisest course to take. It would be nice to have a child that would now be old (this was 1981) enough to be a best friend. Although this is just as likely fantasy. There is an equal chance of being hated. Or just being persona non grata. And that is still decision making based on total emotion with no regard to the well being of the child. Reality for me has never lived up to expectations. It wouldn't have saved my relationship with this woman. It would have been a constant struggle to pay my share of support much less find a way to truly be a father to this child. My second wife has two daughters that I had a big hand in raising for about 6 years. I can tell you unequivocally that I do not feel for them like they were my own flesh and blood. But I love them unconditionally and I still fill the void that is left by their biological father two years after our divorce. Sharing their life lets me have no illusions about how woefully unprepared I was in 1981 to raise children. And when I married their mother they were both long out of diapers etc which Is the hardest part. If you from time to time take pause and reflect back and pay homage to things that just were not meant to be there is no harm. But don't let anybody or anything heap any unearned guilt or shame on you. If more people could subdue their emotions with logic this world would be a far better place.

Posted on 4 February 2008 @ 5:4 (London time) - permalink
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sexylinz, posted over a year ago

Although i wouldn't personally have an abortion, its not to say it wasn't the right choice for you. How you are feeling now is whats also right for you, listen to your body. if you were to feel guilty and upset that could have meant that having the abortion was not for you.BUT you dont. in my eyes that shows that it was definately the right decision for you at this point in your life. Dont question your own body or how you feel.

Posted on 5 February 2008 @ 23:20 (London time) - permalink
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2dareANDdream, posted over a year ago

You know your baby had a heart beat and fingers. Nice huh. But just so you know, if your not ready to be a parent then your not ready to have sex. If your mature enough to have sex your mature enough to suffer the consiqunces. If your not, and you get prego think about the baby and not yourself next time. It's called ADOPTION. Fyi that was your babies life and you took it.. Also it wasn't the right choice just because you don't feel gulity. Just means you have no heart. Means your selfish. Means you put yourself first before your child and that is never right..

Posted on 28 January 2009 @ 20:15 (London time) - permalink
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