Checking your partners cellphone

Am I the only one who is a bit confused about all these people who have a habit of checking their partner's cellphone to see whom they've been texting or talking to?

Posted on 23 April 2007 @ 2:52 (London time) - permalink
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dragonette I'm with you on this one. I really feel for people who routinely look through their partners cell-phone, what a relationship it must be where you're constantly on the look-out for evidence that you are being cheated on.

Posted on 23 April 2007 @ 8:54 (London time) - permalink
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me n my fella read each others text messages etc. But not as a way of checking up on each other. It's generally a case of "bla text me today."

Posted on 24 April 2007 @ 11:16 (London time) - permalink
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Sexylinz, what you talk about is something totally different. I do that too if I get a message from a friend of both me and my boyfriend's. It's not the same thing as snooping through the cellphone of someone looking to see who he's been talking to.

Posted on 24 April 2007 @ 18:17 (London time) - permalink
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i know it is totally different i'm just trying to show that there are boundaries when it comes to reading a partners texts etc.

Posted on 25 April 2007 @ 22:59 (London time) - permalink
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this is even more perculiar. this woman(she's married) (and supposedly a friend) i know is dating a man i was very involved with. The other day i got a text message from her that said" take two tylenol, call u latr, luv u". i texted her back and she asked who i was! i believe it was for him. So, you eventually get caught.

Posted on 25 April 2007 @ 23:19 (London time) - permalink
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"You eventually get caught". I truly believe in that also. If you carry on a long term relationship with someone in the same town, eventually you will get caught. I guess the only chance to "get away" with cheating would be to have a one-night stand in a totally different part of the country and not leave any way for that person to contact you. And I put get away in quotation marks because I'd like to think that even if a person is never caught, he/she would live with the lies and it will probably cause them sleeping problems at night.

Posted on 26 April 2007 @ 6:41 (London time) - permalink
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I know this response is late in respect to when the original was posted, but I've got to put my story out there...

Posted on 11 October 2007 @ 15:13 (London time) - permalink
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So here's the deal... you never really know what someone is doing behind your back (at least not in a new relationship) and so I think we all have a curiosity to know if the person you are with is being honest to you. Checking the text messages on your significant other's cell phone is one unbiased version of the truth(verification of honesty if you will). But what do you say or do when that honesty isn't confirmed? Do you confront your boyfriend or girlfriend directly about his or her text messages (thereby owning up to violating their privacy)? And when is it the right time in a relationship to consider it cheating? After two weeks? Three? When the person says, "I love you?" And do you consider talking dirty to someone through text messages cheating? Or do you need confirmation of the physicallity of it? I think I opened Pandora's Box this morning in the form of a cell phone that wasn't mine. Now I'm not sure how to close it.

Posted on 4 December 2007 @ 19:8 (London time) - permalink
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I would never check my hubbys cell phone and i know he would never check mine. I think that is a road that no one should venture down, no matter what. My bloke used to get texts from his ex, but they have kids, so i asked if he could push her into the background a bit and he did. She also used to phone the house, and his daughter, Miss Mischief, said that her mum and dad had long cosy chats on the phone. I asked if he could cut them short too, which he did, no they only talk to do with kids stuff and not very often. But i dont think it is a good idea to check anyones phone. Open that can of worms and they will kill you one way or another.

Posted on 5 December 2007 @ 18:21 (London time) - permalink
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I agree with you all it is definately a pandoras box that once opened can eat u up inside. My question to you all is what happens if u do check and u find out its not what u want to read... what happens then? Can a relationship survive this i reckon it can if the person can learn to live with it because as was previously said if you own up it shows u dont respect the persons privacy. Its like emails and the internet technlogy is gr8 except when it isnt going your way.

Posted on 8 December 2007 @ 18:7 (London time) - permalink
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Ill hold my hands up and admit i have done it.. although i do know its one of the most disrespectful things to do... only thing is i found out he was sleeping with his ex!!!!! therefore im glad i did it, i knew their was something going on thats the only reason.. although i confessed to him ended things and moved on with my life.. to be honest i know i would still be with him if i didnt discover those texts, cause truthfully i dont think i would have been told.. i now know that they dont have contact anymore and im still friends with my ex.. but i have met a new fella and i have never been happier.. i know it was wrong.. but opps my bad.. infact no!!!! his bad

Posted on 9 December 2007 @ 18:14 (London time) - permalink
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Thats a loaded gun there. Along time ago I said the minute I feel the need to snoop it's time to go. But that was before two fairly long marriages. The first was such a train wreck that snooping was not called for. The second marriage was fine till I worked out of town a few months and my wife announced she was divorcing me. On my return I assured I would do anything to make it right and she was having none of it. I asked repeatedly if it was another man and she repeatedly assured me it was not. Then I checked her cell phone bill and found hundreds of texts from some guy she had met while I was gone. She had fallen in love and the guy had already dumped her but the whole thing knocked me and her feelings for me right out of the saddle. Sort of. Anyone care to talk about sex with your ex?

Posted on 4 February 2008 @ 3:4 (London time) - permalink
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A little more if ya'll don't mind. I'm from Texas and this seems to be a British based site. Howdy ya'll. The stakes are just too friggin high if you suspect. And let me tell you. When the worm turns you feel it. You feel it in their touch you feel it in the way they kiss you. It's hard to tell when the tide turns at the beach. You know for a fact that awhile ago it was coming in. Slowly... Slowly... but now its going out. When was that point exactly when it changed directions?? Not sure but there is no mistaking that now it is going out. So hell yes! snoop if you must. It's your life too.

Posted on 4 February 2008 @ 3:13 (London time) - permalink
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And even more. I've never minded any one checking up on me because I've never had any thing to hide. The thing with cheating is that to me it's more than just banging around behind your mate's back. It's like cheating a business partner out of money. Sure there are the emotions and the quashed love and romance and bruised ego and hurt feelings that is inherent in an affair but we are also talking about a person who entered a contract with the spouse to team up, put on a united front and take on the world with pooled resources and shared energy. Love is grand but it doesn't pay the rent. At least have the decency to be somewhat discreet and not show your ass all over town until you are at least separated. Or so I've been told.

Posted on 4 February 2008 @ 3:26 (London time) - permalink
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That's how I found out about my wife's affair in December. She got a call late one night from a co-worker on her company cell phone to wish her a Merry Christmas. I became suspicious and began looking at the text messages. Sure enough, there was something going on and I saw where she had written back to him and told him that she loved him. Found this on Christmas night of all nights. She has put a lock on the phone now so I can't monitor what's going on. She wants to stay together, but she refuses to unlock the phone. Do I trust her? HELL NO!

Posted on 7 February 2008 @ 5:27 (London time) - permalink
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I have in the past check one of my ex's email accounts. I knew the password. She didn't know I knew it. But then again, I had my suspicions and of course emails confirmed those suspicions especially her sexually explicit emails about what the were going to do at his house and talked about previous encounters. Of course, she denied everything and turned it around on me that I should have trusted her. It's hard to trust someone who has friends you cannot meet. :) Boy was I stupid.

Posted on 13 March 2008 @ 10:48 (London time) - permalink
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I'm sorry but if you have nothing to hide then why would you need to password protect anything as a bf, gf, or spouse? Why hide your phone? I've always been an open book, but my husband started this secrecy awhile back, and then one day I suspected something and found all of these sick sexual text messages back and forth with some ex of his that he reconnected with on a vacation with MY DAUGHTER. His parents watched my baby while he went out on dates with this girl. He says he never even kissed her but their messages went way overboard and I don't know how they can be innocent friends anymore. I could only go so far back in phone records, but I found that he and she exchanges 635 messages in 10 days and had 40 phone calls to one another. And there were pictures, etc. I'm know there were emails too, but I can't get them out of his password protected computer, how convenient. Do you consider that cheating? I do! I left him for awhile, and he said I blew everything out of proportion. What happened to vows? What happened to security in a marriage. He said he'd stop calling her, but then there were more messages in Jan, now Feb, and I'm sure this month's bill will reveal more. She called him on Easter Sunday just to ruin my holiday. He won't change his number. He just says he won't call her again, but then his big excuse is drinking. He drunk dials. I don't know what to do, and I am so angry. When the phone rings at 3am, why should I not look to see who it is, or if it is an emergency? And when there's a message that say "I can't sleep, now what?", should I just ignore that? Sorry to rant and rave, but I am just at a loss when I read all of these invasion of privacy post above. What a crock!

Posted on 26 March 2008 @ 0:2 (London time) - permalink
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Souix, your mail touched me real deep. A few days before now I'd agree with you without resevations... but all that's changed. While i agree with you, I'll add a caveat. BEFORE YOU GO SNOOPING, BE SURE YOU ARE PREPARED FOR THE WORSE, WHAT IF THEY REALLY ARE HIDING SOMETHING, ARE YOU READY TO STEP OUT? If you're not, discovery might only hurt YOU MORE!

Posted on 1 April 2008 @ 23:27 (London time) - permalink
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Ok most of the people here who think that's a big invasion of privacy probably have not had something happen to them. If something happens of any type of thing, (not cheating) you would investigate. Well, if you know in your gut something is up, and your partner, who you live with for 6 years, always has her cell "somewhere out of sight" when mine is around cos I have nothing to hide, you know something's up. How about that she hides it in her shoe in the closet and puts cap over it lol. Well not very funny, cos my gut feelings were right and she was texting, emailing her old g/f, even went to see her recently in NJ, and this girl is not worth the effort, always a non-committal all about me person. She swears to me that "who do i live with" i love you, etc. but then says i wont talk to her anymore and they both agreed its not right. well after a month of not talking, i find a text on her phone while in shoe in closet from ms non committal all about me. you are all right in when you find out you have to be prepared in what you will do afterwards. stay in relationship? get duped again? or move on and leave? its said when you love someone, that you are faithful, you have a beautiful home, play golf together, laugh, have fun, have good lovemaking life, but something is lacking in my partner's head i guess??? what do i do now???

Posted on 17 November 2008 @ 0:56 (London time) - permalink
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