, posted
over a year ago
Hi Sexybum, it's great to see you around here again! 8]
As for me changing stuff, I was actually worried for the sake of people taking in my words. Though I know I can be harsh and as Andrew had said, "Cheeky", not everyone can take a good blow to the face with a giant foam bat. You see, it's the initial scare, then all hell breaks loose until they have the desire to actually touch the bat that it's really foamy...
Did I just lose you?
Anyway, the whole porn and beauty conflict wasn't the thing that set me off on entering this thread. It was just over some posts that I gave that questioned myself. Eg: my ex told me that although I can be ultra-sensitive to her moods, needs, and wants, I can also strangely be inconsiderate on the things she thought about. Example would be if she's cold, I would get a jacket or blanket for her. If she is any slightly upset about work or school, I would cheer her up with a puppet show or something naughty. Or if she had a cold, I would...
Anyway, however, when she told me about how her friends thought and that she told me she was influenced to think a certain way, and I would belittle those things she thought about, is what she was talking about. Even though to me, her thoughts didn't make sense and were actually influences from her moronic retarded friends (see what I mean?), they were still partially her own.
Thus, when I see some of my posts here on DC on various threads, I find myself doing similar things. Eg: for me, I find that the bulk of the people who asks questions here on DC really need a good dump in the cold ocean or let loose a pack of wild dogs on them, so they 'wake' up from their illusion or misforgiving. However, I would read other people's posts and wonder whether I am doing the same thing I did to my ex, and then all hell breaks loose inside of me. Well, not quite, more like, whether I shouldn't be talking at all.
Honestly, sometimes I make myself laugh, and then throughout the day, people wonder why I'm laughing at myself, or at the clock... 8/
Well, I'm still here, and I still say stuff, but always keeping myself in check. I just want to learn to change this aspect of me, in case it may repeat itself in a future intimate relationship. You know?
However, thanks for your comments and everyone else's. It's a very supportive site for the most part (99% of the time). 8]
[bows]
Posted on 17 December 2006 @ 1:58 (London time) - permalink
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