 Yos, posted
over a year ago
"Having couples and their bf's/hubs or their gf's/wives use them instead of working out a relationship"
You are bang on there. I think that is probably the biggest issue. Porn in moderation can be mostly harmless, and sometimes a good thing if its out in the open and spurs a couple to be open and experimental sexually with each other (presuming they both want it). But I think more often than not porn becomes a refuge to run to to avoid dealing with sexual issues, and that is a road to ruin. I know this first hand, I've done it myself in the past.
The thing that scares me is that so many young boys are growing up with such a high exposure to porn. I mean, I saw porn as a teenager, but that was before the internet and DVDs, where the most I could see was magazines (hard to get) and maybe a soft-core late night movie. It certainly wasn't on tap, and ultra-hardcore as it is now. I really feel sorry for the teenage girls who get into their first sexual relationship aged 15 or so and have a boyfriend who thinks porn is all about gagging, hard anal and smacking someone. Which has unfortunately become very mainstream in internet porn. Fucked up :(
I too am a designer and I have gotten increasingly effected by what my work means in this context. Porn isn't something that exists in isolation, its part of a bigger context of popular media: music (eg Nellie Furtado: 'Promiscuous'), TV (Sex in the City, etc) and so on, where sex is generally being portrayed as more of a commodity.
I find it deeply troubling that so many of us see this 'liberalisation' as a good thing. I am an almost down the line liberal when it comes to politics, but I think we've made a mistake here. The real agenda isn't about being 'liberal' its about making money: companies can make a great deal of money out of convincing us of our own sexual inferiority and then selling us TV, movies, magazines, clothes and a lifestyle that can 'help us' somehow. In reality they could give a shit about the consequences of their actions, they are only bottom-line driven. I see this on a regular basis from the inside. The advertising industry is entirely build on this. Make someone feel inferior, then offer them a product to solve this manufactured need.
These days I'm trying to figure out a way to try to be ethical in the work that I do. Designing large web sites etc, social networking, mobile phones, and so on, does create the opportunity for positive change. We aren't powerless, we don't have to just passively consume what we are given. Vocal individuals who can put their words into action can make a difference. In a way it has become my mission in life, and one that has created a lot more purpose and meaning for me than I have ever had before.
Here is a great quote from the graffiti artist Banksy that really captures some of this feeling for me:
"People abuse you everyday. They butt into your life, take a cheap shot at you and then disappear. They leer at you from tall buildings and make you feel small. They make flippant comments from buses that imply that you're not sexy enough and that all the fun is happening somewhere else. They're on TV making your girlfriend feel inadequate. They have access to the most sophisticated technology the world has ever seen and they bully you with it. They are The Advertisers and they are laughing at you.
However you are forbiden to touch them. Trademarks, intellectual property rights and copyright law mean advertisers can say what they like wherever they like with impunity.
Screw that. Any advert in public space that gives you no choice whether you see it or not is yours. It's yours to take, re-arrange and re-use. You can do whatever you like with it. Asking for permission is like asking to keep a rock someone just threw at your head.
You owe the companies nothing. You especially don't owe them any courtesy. They have re-arranged the world to put themselves in front of you. They never asked for your permission, don't even start asking for theirs".
Posted on 29 November 2006 @ 17:42 (London time) - permalink
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DearCupid, posted
over a year ago
harshbutfair, posted
over a year ago
Sexybum, posted
over a year ago