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Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > Pissed Off As Usual...

Pissed Off As Usual...

birdynumnums, posted over a year ago

Sooooooo...

My husband, whose retirement didn't take, finally was home for the weekend.

He asked my daughter and I out for a meal at a local Japanese restaurant.

The waitress, about my own age, 50's, commented as I ordered - "That's a lot of food." I ordered a main course/salad/miso soup/4 pieces of sushi - AND i had not eaten all day, although, frankly, I would have ordered the same even if I had! She commented on my daughters order as well. She did NOT comment on my husbands order at all.

A one point, she served my husband another beer and I asked for a second. My husband said that he would share his beer. The waitress said that I can always order a second beer later on if I needed one.

When we were all finished our drinks and dinner, she asked me, specifically, WHILE SHAKING THE EMPTY CAN,

"Do you still want another beer?".

I lost it. I blew up.

"I have had it with the personal comments. Bring us the bill.''

My family wasn't impressed with my behavior.

But if you go out to a restaurant to eat and drink, I felt that it wasn't the waitresses place to monitor my intake of food or drink or comment on it either! It's not like I was going out drinking and driving after 1 and 1/2 beer. PLUS, what would her employer think of talking customers out of more food or drink, as long as a person wasn't drunk.

I felt like my mother was serving me dinner and a side of guilt.

Comments?

Posted on 31 January 2010 @ 3:41 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

it was rude behavior, and i dont appreciate it either. A couple more of my dining out pet peeves are flirting with my hubby while basically ignoring me...and loud or wild children. I have 7 of my own and i dont allow that out of them...and on the rare occassion that we go out without them it really gripes me to be seated by a child who is obnxious. Just ruins date night for me. :) sorry birdy for my rant. Dining out should be a pleasant experience, heaven knows we pay dearly for it. Mal

Posted on 31 January 2010 @ 4:40 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I used to work as a waiter, a time ago, and I can tell you thats completely unacceptable.

The industry as a whole is not doing well these days atall and I assure you if her boss finds out she said anything like that to you, then shes out the door.

Posted on 5 February 2010 @ 10:7 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

My boyfriend and I were at this place one saturday... meeting each other after an entire month of separation. And we were repeatedly ignored by the waiters. Even after much signalling, calling and even complaining to the manager, nothing in the waiter's attitude change. They'd rather read the newspaper than serve us, or even wait till we finish giving our orders!

Since that particular place wasn't responding at all, we decided to leave, and the manager had the nerve to give us the bill too! (with a 10% service charge included!!!!)

We did go to the Owner and then made sure that our problems were heard... but, really, what is the Hospitality industry is coming to?

Posted on 5 February 2010 @ 10:51 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I guess that I have been lucky going out over the years. We have only had 2 bad experiences that I can remember and they turned out good. The first one was at a good restaurant. No one came to serve us, so we waited for about 15 minutes. We were in no hurry, but started to wonder. Well, it turns out that 2 waiters thought the other one had our table. The manager came out and apologized and offered us free drinks to make up for it. The waiter who was supposed to have our table also apologized and we had great service the rest of the evening. Turned out to be a great night.

The other one was at another nice restaurant. They sat us at a table beside a couple with 2 young boys, like 4 to 6 years old. Well, the boys were running around the table and chasing each other, while the parents did nothing to control them. Now this was a restaurant where we were going to spend at least $100 on dinner and drink, not a family restaurant. I went up and asked the hostess if we could be seated elsewhere and she seated us across the room in a dark corner that was secluded. We could have boinked back there and no one would have seen us. Turned out perfect. No, we didn't, in case you're wondering. :)

Posted on 5 February 2010 @ 17:21 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Oh, Birdy, how did I miss this posting? Sorry!

She was being a bad server, no doubt. The problem is that we are programmed not to be mean to people, that we must always be nice.

20/20 hindsight is such a wonderful thing, isn't it, I mean, we are always right. I think the thing that would be wonderful to do would be to recognize when someone is being inappropriate early enough to nip their actions in the bud.

For example, when the first comment was made, maybe imagine having looked at her and said, "wow, do you offer up a side dish of value judgements to all your customers? I have to say that each one like that cuts the tip in half." Now you say all of that with a really big smile on your mouth, but no smile in your eyes.

Now you're ready if you go back there again.

I have this phrase that I use when I need to give someone I'm doing business with a piece of my mind. I have used it on several occasions and if I'm with my husband, he knows that whoever is on the receiving end of this comment is about to get it from from me. I offer it up here in the hopes that you can add it to your arsenal: "Are you in a position to hear some constructive criticism?" What can they say to that? There's only one choice, and that is "yes." THAT'S when you let them have it, right between the eyes. Polite as can be, no bad names, no swearing, but zing zap zing on every single thing that they have done wrong. Oh, it's so liberating! I recommend it.

So seethe no more, my friend, just let it out, prefaced with that benign question, "May I give you some constructive criticism?" Zaperoonie!

Posted on 5 February 2010 @ 17:40 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

you always have the best comebacks, tisha. i have never said anything and always been nice but inside grrrrrrr. i will have to try that. :) i cant wait actually. lol mal

Posted on 5 February 2010 @ 18:13 (London time) - permalink
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Share Bear, posted over a year ago

Aww, I love your 'comebacks', Tisha- so funny!

-And they would've been so deserved at Birdynumnums' meal- sly/ underhand little put-downs like that are HORRID! -It's Almost worth going back again sometime to put Tisha's comments into practice!

Hugs to Birdynumnums!

Posted on 5 February 2010 @ 18:40 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

okay...so I've been to town this evening and i was in wal-mart. the entire hour i was in there...there was this kid, i will guess him about 4 years old screaming and carrying on. sheesh....i was in the grocery section and you could hear him. after a good (bad) 15 minutes i had enough so i went to the electonics section to look at something. i could still hear him. i went to the toys and while i was there he showed up in the aisle next to mine. LOUDLY crying...i am not exaggerating. i walk to the end of the aisle and look and there are 3 adults, im guessing mom, dad, and grandma. they were trying to get him to pick out a toy. no he wouldnt have any of it. they are desperately promising him this and that. here, no here. no what about this, OK THEN WE ARE LEAVING....no i wont go back, you shoulda got it while we were there ...thats just tooo bad..Parents are loud and obnoxious, child is wailing, i am slowly losing my sanity. i escape to the back of the store....as i walk back toward the grocery end the kids escalates...i throw my hands in the air and announce to every one standing around TAKE THE KID HOME ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!! they look at me startled and then they quietly cheer and nod in agreement. we stand smiling at one another in mutual exasperation.i say, i have SEVEN kids and they NEVER acted like that in a store. we all do a mental high five and go our seperate ways. i finished and checked out, and as i walked out the door the kid was still letting the weary wally world shoppers know how unhappy he was.

just thought i would share that with you because i was rereading this thread and when i read Q's last post, it made me think of those parents. threatening, promising, cajoling, and not meaning a word of it.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

okay ladies and gentlemen, rant over....i will go quietly back to dorkland now, mal

Posted on 6 February 2010 @ 4:39 (London time) - permalink
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