A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure whether I'm over reacting so thought i'd get someone elses opinion on this one. My bf and I have been together for a year, and lived together for 6 months. I've never doubted his commitment to me -he seemed really keen on moving in and doing the whole 'settling down' thing. I've also met most of his family, and am regularly invited to family get togethers.The problem is that I have never met any of his real friends! To be fair all of his good friends have moved away and he hardly ever goes nights out, apart from the odd works do (which is fine - I wouldnt expect to be dragged along to one of those) But last week he announced one of his friends was having a big 30th birthday party. He then proceeded to ask me if I could give him a lift to the party! I was kind of confused and said 'oh right so I take it Im not invited?' and he said that it wasn't his place to invite me.I'm really hurt by this, that it never even crossed his mind to take me along - im pretty sure most other people will have their partners with them. I've always invited him along to most of my friends parties, and in fact couldnt wait for them to meet him. Anyway I raised the issue with him, and he said that his friend hadnt mentioned anything about inviting me, and that he didnt think it was a big deal.Am I right to be annoyed? I have absolutely no problem with us spending time apart, and doing our own thing. I have my girls nights out, he has his work nights out - he goes to the football, i go to the gym, etc. I'm not some needy gf that has to be around my partner 24/7 (I'm hoping he hasn't misunderstood the situation here) I just think that its weird that it didn't even cross his mind to invite me! It definitely not a guys only thing - the friend in question is happily married and the party will be mixed.It almost makes me think that he's ashamed of me in some way :(What do you think? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): I wouldn't do this to my wife, ever.
In fact, if I'm invited somewhere and she isn't then it's a no go from my standpoint...not hers...from my standpoint.
Not good.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): my ex behaved in the same manner and i now know the reason why,he wanted to keep his sordid past and females under wraps
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A
male
reader, daddylonglegs +, writes (11 October 2010):
Hi there,
Talking from a guy's point of view, it is a bit weird
he could have told his friend that it would be nice to take you to the party and introduce you to other friends of his.
You sound like a sensible and level headed person, so you are not overreacting, not knowing your boyfriend as a person (has he a selfish streak) it is hard to make a judgement.
Getting you to give him a lift would be like putting petrol on a fire, some men just do not know when they are being insensitive, you have made your feelings known to him,which is a start, the next time perhaps he will think again, lifes' journey is never straight forward.
good luck for the future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): Hi,
That does sound a bit worrying. Does he have an ex in that group of friends that he doesnt want you to meet or something cos that doesnt sound normal. You are right to feel hurt and angry. You do need to discuss this with him.
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