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Why is he acting this way when I mention a friend?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 September 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2011)
A female Ireland age 36-40, *unshine8508 writes:

So I'm sleeping with a guy that at first was only once week a week and now it has turned into 3-5 days a week. He has told me he wants nothing serious, but lately he has been wanting to meet my family, me to meet his friends, and do things like go camping etc. He also has been telling me he really likes me a lot. But when I tell him I go out with a friend right away he says to me, was the guy cute without even giving me a chance to tell him who it was. Why is he acting that way? I think maybe I need to ask him if his feelings for me have changed and does he want to become more serious.

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A female reader, sunshine8508 Ireland +, writes (30 September 2011):

sunshine8508 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So this guy he ended up gettin a dog and now when I go there he just gets up and leave for 30 mins at a time to be with the dog, and last time I went over there he spent all his time with the dog and did not bother to really even talk to me. I dont think he appeicates me and I dont want to be with someone who is making me feel like I have to comepete with a dog. We ended up having a fight and he said he just wants to have his dog and now I feel like he does not want me around any more. Just feel like I have now wasted my time with him.

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A male reader, idoneitagain Australia +, writes (30 September 2011):

I think your feelings are correct again, it sounds like he wants to be with you and doesn't feel comfortable to say it. Or that he isn't ready to say it. Sometimes things take time to form, but you have the answer you wanted, he said he loves you, and he is asking to be with you the next day, you are hanging out more and more. Just take a bit of time to let the relatioship form and grow naturally, in time it won't matter what either of you say or think, your relationship will form naturally to whatever is right for you guys. If you reach a point where your relationship is obviously that of girlfriend and boyfriend, and he isn't thinking of you or talking about you in that way, then you will need to talk about it. Or, if you are concerned that your relationship might not be exclusive, you will need to speak about it. Othewise, just let it grow naturally, you guys sound like you are in good shape, and just need a little time.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (29 September 2011):

chigirl agony auntDon't ask him what he wants. Just watch his actions and let things happen by themselves.

Then, if you feel you are slowly going official, at one point refer to him as your boyfriend when he hears it, or introduce him as your boyfriend. If he reacts and tells you not to call him that then you know he doesn't want a relationship. But if he likes it then he wants to be your official boyfriend.

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A female reader, sunshine8508 Ireland +, writes (29 September 2011):

sunshine8508 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So I asked him what he wanted and he said he is not sure, then he told me he loves me and asked me to do something with him the next day. Im still confused as to what he wants from me I think he wants to be with me officially, he just does not want to tell me.

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A male reader, idoneitagain Australia +, writes (29 September 2011):

You answered your own question. You need to ask him if his feelings have changed, which it sounds like they have. It also shows that your intuition is correct, and that you can trust it in the future to answer questions which come up for you. I am not suggesting that you don't seek out advice when it is good to get some different perspectives, but it is good to know that you can trust your own wisdom and instincts.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (28 September 2011):

chigirl agony auntYes, his feelings have changed, but he's too proud to admit it, he doesn't want to be vulnerable. Take it slow, and stop mentioning the other friends. Try to get to know him better and show and interest in him as a person, that is if you also want more.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (28 September 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntYes it does sound like his feelings have changed for you, talk to him and ask him if he wants to make things official. Off course only if you like him as well. Hope everything works out.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (28 September 2011):

k_c100 agony auntHe likes you, simple as that. Now it is up for you to decide if you like him more than a simple friend with benefits and then take it from there. Once you have decided what you want, have a talk with him and make sure you both want the same things.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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