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Why does this man give me the silent treatment? Why not just tell me what is wrong?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 December 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 December 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, *upidlover89 writes:

I have been seeing this man for 3 years now. A few months ago he got really upset with me and wouldn't talk to me for a month. Finally, we talked and began seeing each other again. Now, the same silent treatment is happening, and he has blocked my number from his cell phone. The reason last time he got upset, was because I called and texted a lot. He has a history of ignoring me, and I get a little upset about it from time to time. The last time I got silent treatment he told me I pissed him off. This time he said nothing and put me on block, and will not tell me what's going on. My question is, is this a head game? Why does he give me such a hard time? We hung out for years, he is a pretty up front guy. Why won't he just tell me the problem and we can move on?

View related questions: move on, text

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (12 December 2014):

janniepeg agony auntAfter three years you are just "seeing" him? A month of silence is not acceptable. I would question where you stand in the relationship, or whether he is married and hiding you from his wife. For a taken man, any woman on the side has the potential to become too needy for comfort.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (12 December 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou ask: "...Why won't he just tell me the problem and we can move on?..."

I ask: Considering the nature of what HAS gone on... why aren't you just getting away from this guy, and STAYING away? From your submittal, it "sounds" as if there's really no "relationship" between the two of you...

Good luck....

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (12 December 2014):

eyeswideopen agony auntI agree with the Attacking Cow, you DO come across as pretty needy and the silent treatment works best on needy people. Try letting him see that his ignoring you doesn't phase you a bit and ignore him right back. But in all honesty this relationship sounds pretty unsatisfying for both of you, maybe it's time to trade up, eh?

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (12 December 2014):

Hmm, you call and text A LOT, and he ignores you and you get mad.

Were you calling and texting while he was at work? In the shower? Asleep? Out with friends, at the movies, etc? How much time would elapse before you would get mad? Is it possible you were suffocating him, and he told you, and you ignored those requests?

Food for thought, you may have worn out your welcome.

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A female reader, cupidlover89 United States +, writes (12 December 2014):

cupidlover89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I agree. However, in the past he had no problem telling me what was going on. I do not think he is scared, or doesn't have the balls. In fact he seemingly enjoyed telling me things he knew may hurt me.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 December 2014):

Honeypie agony auntControl.

The only way he seems to be able to control YOU and the relationship is by using the silent treatment. The silent treatment makes you DOUBT yourself and think that YOU must have done something wrong, where you might NOT have.

Most likely he has decided to end it with you, but don't have the nuts to tell you. So silent treatment it is.

I would block his number, pack up anything of his and drop it off where he lives and then go on my merry way without him.

Using silent treatment of your partner IS a head-game. and it also PREVENTS you two to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it..

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