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Why do they talk to their ex's when they are supposed to be happy?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 August 2007)
A female United States, anonymous writes:

Would anyone tell me(especially the guys out there), why would a guy that's dating someone else and is supposedly serious about her, be still talking to his ex? This is happening to me and its been going on now for four months. Plus, he's asking me questions about people I've been going on dates with. Please, I need help understanding this.

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A male reader, william101067 United States +, writes (14 August 2007):

I guess i am still kind of confused on your clarification. He broke up with you, and is seeing someone else correct? So is he still calling you and talking to you? I guess that is my question. If this is the case, if he is seeing someone but still conversing with you, maybe just maybe he is having second thoughts about the new fling. The reason he would be still contacting you is for something to fall back on. He knows you and your habits. So if the new thing fails he may try and fall back to you because it is easier to go back to something you already know how the person is. If he broke up with you for this other person, and now he is calling you still, more than likely he will do it to you again when he gets bored. He is questioning you about who you maybe dating or sleeping with because he don't want to let go of you for the simple reason of wanting to come back to you in the back of his mind. you are his security if you allow it. If he truly had heart felt feelings for this other person, he would leave you alone and let you move on. Sounds like he is sitting on the fence and trying to play both sides. I hope I am clear on your question and I hope i have shed some light for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I just want to clarify because I don't think I was very clear in my question. This guy broke up with me 4 months ago because he was scared of commitment and now he's seeing someone else, supposedly. We do not have kids together plus he's scared to have a family as well.

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A male reader, william101067 United States +, writes (13 August 2007):

Do they have kids together? If so then it should only be about the kids. Otherwise, he is trying to have his cake and eat it to so to speak. I went through this with my girlfriend recently. But, she felt guilty because he didn't want the divorce. They were together for 20 yrs. she didn't want him back, but she felt sorry for him so he would call 20 times a day and i told her that she was just leading him to believe there was a chance for them to get back together. She didn't want to get back with him. I told her that by her just talking was giving him false hope. So she told him if it wasn't about the kids to quit calling. But if he is serious about you, then he should cut the ties with the ex unless its to discuss the kids. Otherwise he is after other motives. You should tell him that you are no longer going to play second best. IF that relationship is done... then let it be done so you both can move on with your relationship. Otherwise he is just stringing you along. I hope that helps.

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