A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About half of my friends are females. I tend to get along with them more I guess because most guys I meet are more immature. Still, I'm a guy not a girl.Why is it that all my female friends feel the need to tell me about how attractive some other guys is. Whether it's some guy they hooked up with or some guy they met or saw. They feel the need to tell me all about it when they know very well I don't want to hear any of that. It irritates the hell out of me but they do it anyway.Why do they all do this when they know I don't want to hear it?(I'm not a hypocrite. I don't like it when my guy friends do that either because it's like they have never seen a girl before.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhenCowsAttack
I do not dictate anything. I stand up for what I believe in and I speak when something is bothering me. Anyone who does not is a pushover. I have friends that complain about their ex too and even though they need an ear, I let them know straight up what I think. If they do something that bothers me I let them know and vice versa.
I do not tell them what to talk about. I just don't want them telling me all about it. They want to tell someone else, I don't care. I am not that other person. If my friends don't like getting into politics then I don't bring it up around them. If you let everything that bothers you slide to be a "good friend", then what you really are is a door mat.
Thank You SY
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (20 January 2015):
Well, I really dislike it when my religious friends talk about Jesus, but I don't tell them to shut up about it because they are my friends. I have a friend who mostly complains about her ex, and I hate that because she caused it, but she is my friend and needs an ear, so...
You don't get to dictate what other people talk about. You just don't. You can choose not to be their friend over it, and vise versa, but that's about it.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (20 January 2015):
 Narrowing all that down, I believe it's where your friends are in their lives. As I said before, I don't ever have those types of conversations with people. We are all married with children and often discuss issues related to the environment and health. Kind of boring I guess, but no one in my frequently visited with circle is single and looking and we all hang out as couples.
You're probably one of few people your friends know who had an issue with that talk, and so they comment to you habitually. I would just ignore it and keep on with your conversations without acknowledging it. Try not to let it bother you.
~Sy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question1. I have told them many times that I hate it when they do that. They tell me anyway with a "haha sorry" right after.2. I am not a hypocrite because I do not do that myself, nor do I hold some sort of double standard. I don't like it when my guy friends tell me about some girl they saw and describe to me in vivid detail.3. I do not want anything to happen between me and them, that's why they are friends. Just because you hate hearing one thing from them does not mean they are not friends. What kind of insane logic is that? I find women attractive as well, I just don't go telling everyone I see because what I see is where it ends. I'm interested in one girl alone and while she is attractive I don't go telling everyone about it. If anything, if I'm asked, I talk about the person she is.4.I am not one of the girls. I am a guy, and I don't even like it when guys do it.Does it make me feel insecure about myself, maybe a little. I don't really think about it.It isn't my kind of conversation. Every one that knows me knows this. I'm not angry they find other people attractive because I do as well. I just don't go telling everyone when I see something because it isn't me. There are things they don't like to talk about and so I don't mention them.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (20 January 2015):
Agree any age will notice appearances, my opinion is younger, singler people have a higher tendency to discuss it and point it out.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2015):
 Because girls and guy of ANY age notices attractive people. Our culture ADMIRE attractive, innovative, creative, adventurous, happy, healthy people.
NOTHING weird in that.
And when your female friends DO this, they aren't SAYING WOW that guy is GORGEOUS to make you feel ugly.
I think you are bitter that they don't notice you and see you as a friend only (though friend can be handsome too).
Not really sure what you problem really is, maybe the fact that you don't seem to understand that YOU can not control how others think, feel or do.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (20 January 2015):
Possibly you're insecure, but an alternative: If you don't like when girls and guys alike comment on the attractiveness of who they see, then you have other focuses and are tired of forming a response to those comments. I don't like it myself, because it's not part of a typical conversation I like to be having and I have nothing to say on the matter. But I also don't hear things like that. The reason I don't have to deal with it is that I spend my time with mostly older adults, who are married with kids. I spend my time mostly with family. It may just be your age group, and the fact that all your friends are single and looking. I THINK that once they've settled down and passed that phase, they will find other things to discuss, and won't be so grabbed by passers by.
~Sy
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (20 January 2015):
Sounds to me like the only reason you are so called "friends" with these women is because you want some action with them, and you are jealous because they're only interested in being friends with you. That isn't being a real friend, or a friend at all for that matter.
Also, how insecure are you that you apparently cannot stand to hear ANY woman talk about finding another guy attractive? Holy hell, if they are just friends why would you care? Can you even see how awful, egotistical, and insanely jealous you sound?
Seek help.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (20 January 2015):
You are a hypocrite. Did you not just call them your friends??? And who do friend tell each other? So how can you say they are your friends but don't want to hear what your friends have to say?
The girls are simply treating you as they would any other girl...like a friend. Telling you what's going on in their life is what friends do.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 January 2015):
 How do you know they "know you dont like it"? It's the most common complain when you expect people to read your mind: they KNOW this. But they don't, really. Unless you've told them straight "I do not like when you comment on other men to me".
They probably comment to you because you are their friend. And girls like to talk locker-room talk just as much as guys. We look at guys, we see something we like, we comment on it. You just happen to be the nearest person, so you get to hear it. If you don't like it, say so bluntly and straight forward.
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