A
female
age
41-50,
*ecca78
writes:I asked a question on here about a week ago about a FWB relationship that I was in. Everyone was very helpful, but things have now changed and I would really appreciate a blokes point of view.The guy in question is away a lot so only really saw him every couple of weeks. Originally we would have sex and also he would text me and reply to my texts and facebook messages. When I gave him a lift back we got on well, we talked, had sex, sometimes drove round for ages just talking or listening to music and sometimes had sex. Because of circumstances (he's going away for most of next year) I never expected anything serious or asked for anything more. I was more than happy with what we had. I am not a clingy person and it worked for me not having him here all the time. Anyway my problem now is that he has cut off all contact with me and I don't know why. The bit that gets to me most is that he's taken me off his facebook friends. He has hundreds of friends on there, a lot who he hardly knows, so why has he deleted me? Our last contact was last week. I'd text him on the Friday asking if he was around - no reply. He also owes me £20 which I needed, so I gtext him again on the Saturday asking if he was around so I could get my money back - no reply. On the Sunday night he text me to say he mate had died the previous week and had just wanted a chilled out weekend, I was sympathetic in my reply and he text back (!) I text him back again, but no reply. I then figured I'd leave it a couple of days and text him on the Tueds asking if he was ok. That night he deleted me from his friend list ( and 1 of my best mates too). I've sent him a couple of messages asking why, I haven't got angry or anything, just asked the question, I've said I won't contact him anymore, which I won't. But I just don't know what I've done wrong. I haven't put any pressure on him, I've just been myself so why did he suddenly decide to wipe me out of his life? I know he is the only onewho can really answer this, but he won't! So if anyone's got any ideas it would really help!
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female
reader, taina1980  +, writes (14 December 2008):
listen sweety... you will probably end up seeing him... & if he doesn't bring the other girl he dissed you for he will speak to you... he will give you this bogus song & dance about why he erased you off his facebook & erased you off his mind in general... ofcourse he will be lying because he wants sone booty... after he sweet talks your panties off you will be right back where you started off with him this category is the "jumpoff" category... because that is what you are to him...jump off's are basic booty calls but worst because the bootycalls get way more respect & also he's going to tell you how he wants to pay you back but cant... stop letting this guy in your life ma. have some dignity & hand him your butt to kiss... you are thinking way too much about his sorry behind... look as a woman I've been there & so have many other girls on this forum... you're not the first & you won't be the last... unless ofcourse you like being the jumpoff which its obvious to me you don't ... you said you weren't clingy & that you were cool with just being fwb now you sound super stressed about the situation... so you caught feeling so what... you're human... I'm telling you he's not worth it... trust me...
A
female
reader, becca78 +, writes (14 December 2008):
becca78 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess I'm just really hurting at the moment. Not sure if it's because of him or because it's another rejection. I'm actually terrified about seeing him again, which I probably will next week. I think he's going to be back round here for xmas and I'm going out at the weekend and as it's a small town I'll probably see him. I don't know if he'll speak to me or even acknowledge me. I'm stressing about it already! I don't even knoe if I want to see him! But I do know that I'll be watching out for him, won't be able to help that, just scared that if I do see him I'll end up running to the toilets and bawling my eyes out!
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (14 December 2008):
 Becca, its so easy to be fooled by someone. I think you had a romantic notion that maybe,you two could of been an item, you saw him look into your eyes, it meant nothing to him but you were mesmerized, just forget him, time is a great healer and you will get over him, i promise.
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A
female
reader, becca78 +, writes (14 December 2008):
becca78 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your comments. I know exactly where you're coming from and if it was someone else saying this I'd be saying exactly the same! It's just difficult, I just want to find someone! I really did think that it could lead somewhere, I mean it was the way he looked at me when we were talking and he did suggest us going out again for a meal, he introduced me to his friends and he did seem to genuinely like me! Nothing adds up! I do think that maybe he has got back with his ex, (I know he definitely was single) You'd think that by now I'd be able to spot a liar!
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A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (14 December 2008):
Well just forget about that money he owes you because you'll never see it again! Sounds to me like he may have a girlfriend or maybe met someone else... I wouldn't waste my time and effort contacting him... If he couldn't even have the common courtesy to give you a why , then he's not worth even being friends with... just count your losses, keep your dignity and don't speak to him any more... Trust me sweety to put it bluntly you are the last thing on his mind he used you then shot you aside like trash...you were obviously a pass time... Your too good for him think about it would you have done this to him? he's a jerk ...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Okay, I stand corrected...and what about the "other woman" theory...am I wrong about that too? I could be...I only give my honest opinion...and you know what they say about opinions. Whatever the reason, Try to get on with your life and don't let him destroy you!
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (13 December 2008):
Well, even if he did pay you back before, he isn't now...Anyway, regardless on whether his friend died or not, why on earth should he delete you off Facebook...charming....Do you really want this relationship? If you could call it one.He had sex with you, he didn't consider you as a girlfriend, why are you settling for 2nd best, your worth more then that, so stop sticking up for him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): I know you said you wanted to hear from guys, but I just have to speak my mind...if you are the same poster I think you are...I think he got caught by the "other woman" and is probably eliminating you from his life in every evident way to prove his love for her! I'm just speculating, but I trust my gut feelings, and that's what I am feeling.
I hope that's not a lot of money, 'cause ya ain't ever gonna see it!! Yes, he lied about the dead friend, and who knows what else! Don't drive yourself crazy wondering why...just be grateful he's out of your life!
You deserve better!
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A
female
reader, becca78 +, writes (13 December 2008):
becca78 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks but you're wrong, I know his friend did die and he's borrowed money before and always paid me back!
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (13 December 2008):
I tell you why, because he doesn't want to cough up the £20 quid he owes you, so he's done a runner. And the old chestnut,where he said his friend just died is a load of old bull....plain old fashioned lies, i dont believe a word of it.
The man is a loser, put it down to experience, he used you for a bit of sex with money thrown in for good measure, dont fret over him, he really isn't worth it.
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A
female
reader, Annieapple +, writes (13 December 2008):
My guess is that he doesn't want to sleep with anymore and is too cowardly to tell you and since you were never his girlfriend he doesn't feel like he owes you an explanation,
Perhaps he has met someone else.
You should move on - he's not worth worrying about. Deleting you from facebook is just juvenile!
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A
male
reader, james_2008 +, writes (13 December 2008):
Hi, I wouldn't beat yourself up over this.
I don't think that you did anything wrong - there could be a million reasons why he cut you out ... Maybe he is taking the death of his mate hard, maybe he's trying to sort things out before going away. He is the only one who can answer, but he's probably hiding in his cave (as men from mars do!).
If he doesn't want to talk to you, then I wouldn't worry.
TC x
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