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What is true love?

Tagged as: Long distance, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 June 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 11 June 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, *ickie123 writes:

hey i need help with something and i would love you guys to help me well

i don't know what love is ...meaning like how do you know when your in love is it when u miss that person is it when you want to kiss that person every time u see them and also when u get excited to see them?

i would really appreciate y'all help thank you Cupid friends=]

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009):

To me, true love has to consist of commitment, respect, honesty, kindness, and a will to never quit. It's about being able to have fights without having to worry about breaking up or leaving and being willing to listen and work things out. It's being respectful of your partner and making sacrifice for them. It's honesty on every issue, never telling lies or half truths. It's commitment to your partner, to never ever cheat and to keep yourself out of situations where you think you might because it makes you sick to even imagine cheating. And it's about not giving up when things are bad. Knowing that there's nothing you can't do together.

It shouldn't be a chore to do these things, if it is, I don't think it's true love. You will want to do all these things if you are really in love.

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A female reader, waciehawks United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2009):

I am 19 and have been with my boyfriend since we were 14. We are best friends. We are ready to move in together in August and I believe I know the answer to your question....

It's not caring if he see's you looking like shit when you wake up in the morning with your mascara down your chin and your breath stinking.

It's being able to go from biting each others heads off one minute to saying sorry a few seconds later.

It's feeling as if you can say or do ANYTHING to him and knowing he wont judge you.

Now I want to say I don't believe in True Love. True means perfect, and there is no such thing as perfect love. Only REAL love... Which brings me to my final point:

Real love is accepting the other person for who they really are. All their nasty streaks, all their imperfections, their annoying habits/friends/traits. all the sights, smells, tastes. Forgiving the times they've let you down and lied to you and forgetting the petty stupid arguments you've had.

And if after you've accepted all the things you dislike about your other half you know you'd never ever stop loving them for who they are, then you've got your 'true' love. ;)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009):

Hi - because of this question i have posted an article which is what it means I think to me - it will appear here (hopefully) soon:

http://www.dearcupid.org/article

Its my thousandth post - so just wanted to say in summary real love is ice cream....mmm... No sorry real love is - well read the article.

If you are a teenager enjoying the first moves of love then i would say you are on the right path - but it takes years or more for most people to fall truly in love...

Star.x.

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A female reader, TrueLoveCoach United States +, writes (1 June 2009):

TrueLoveCoach agony auntDear Nikiel,

What a great question! I often post this question on my blogs and on Twitter and Facebook, since I love to learn what others believe about True Love. The feelings of wanting to be with a person and touch them can be love, or they can also be hormones talking (lust)!

The test of whether it's love or just lust happens after 18-24 months of being with that person, when the hormones stop running so intensely. Loving someone means so many things to so many people, and the lusty feelings are only a small, yet important part of it.

Love is not just an emotion; it's a decision we make. Sometimes, we may be so angry with our loved ones, but we know in our hearts we still love them. So we act lovingly instead of throwing our anger back at them (hard to do!).

True love can be messy. It's knowing our loved ones with all their flaws and still loving them, and being loved despite our flaws.

True love is not blind love. It would be hard to truly love someone who uses violence against us and it wouldn't be safe. I don't think we can hold True Love and fear for our personal safety or fear for our lives and the lives of our children in the same space.

Of course, I don't know all the answers and I'm still learning. I believe we learn new things all our lives if we're open to it. I'm still learning what True Love is.

As I work to create True Love in my life, I'm always reading, learning, working on being a person who is open to receiving and giving True Love. It's a process, with bumps along the way, and of course, I don't get it right all the time. No one does, but we keep loving ourselves and keep striving.

I hope I gave you something to think about! Michelle

Michelle E. Vásquez, MS, LPC

Your Successful Singles Love Coach

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (1 June 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntLove is being willing to give the guy you love an enema for his colonoscopy because he's too chicken to do it himself.

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A female reader, Anastasia Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (1 June 2009):

Anastasia agony auntHi Nickiel,

Pumpkin, I am wayyy older than you and I have no idea what love is. Love means different things to different people. Sure the movies have the violins playing and cupid poking people with arrows and people running through buildings to find the one they love...it isn't always these signs that we see.

I'll share something with you though, love for me is that warm hug I get that makes me feel that nothing can harm me once I am in that person's arms. Love for my sister is when her fiancee sends her a rose every hour on the hour with a different thought in the envelope. For my mom and dad, they have shared tea bags every breakfast since before I was born.

You will know what love is when it visits you. There is no definition really. Love just is. Sometimes it makes you sad and other times it is pure joy!!!

Whatever it is to you, you'll enjoy it and wish it never ends...but take your time with love.

Smiles

Ana

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