A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I wrote a question back in November, wondering if this guy was still a player or not. Long story short, I did cut contact with that guy, So for months I hadn't heard anything from the "reformed" player (nor have I laid eyes on him) until today when he heard from a mutual friend of ours of my sort of engagement with the guy I am dating. (I say sort of because its not an engagement ring but rather a promise ring.)I get a text from the "reformed" player, but because he has the same first name as my boyfriend I thought it was my boyfriend, so I just responded to the text without double checking, I was busy so I just glanced.The text read: "Why are you engaged?"Me: "Babe its just my friend teasing us, just kick his ass!"Him: "So you're not engaged? I still have a chance? :)"Me: "Are you drunk Sweetie? You are acting as if we're not together."Him: "That's because we're not together. I'm not your boyfriend."That is when I realized it was the guy from Fall and not my boyfriend, I didn't respond to him after that. And I have gotten a few texts from him since realizing he wasn't my boyfriend, all saying something along the lines of how I shouldn't be getting married because i'm way to young to be settling down, and how I should be having fun.I haven't respond to either of his texts because i'm just not interested. But why is he contacting me now? I figured maybe he got the hint the last time when I stopped responding to him and stopped going to hangouts with friends when I knew he was going to be around, that I wasn't interested in hm. Is it one of those things where he wants what he can't have?
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drunk, engaged, player, teasing, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (12 April 2016):
 Nah, not too tricky, you can do it.
Just ignore ignore ignore. NO need to "play" nice or be polite. You don't OWE him squat.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 April 2016):
 Why would it be tricky? Just ignore him. Nothing to it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHis number is now blocked and deleted from my phone. My bf was the one and did it because when I told him what I was about to do he asked if I could wait until he got home. When my bf got home he sent a message to the guy and then blocked and deleted his number for me.
Now all I got to do is avoid him if I see him out in public. That's the tricky part.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo YouWish and Honeypie, I already did tell my bf about the mix up when he called me to tell me he got to his destination safely, and also my bf knew about the guy having the same first name as him, and my bf knows the guy. They may not be friends due to fact my bf thinks he is a total tool (which he is.) Both my bf and I are both honest with each other, no secrets between us.
To the male reader, when I cut contact with the guy in November I got busy with work and other stuff, also I don't always have my cell in my hand so I didn't even think about it at the time to block him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 April 2016):
OP, if you look in your recent calls/messages it should show the guys number/name (name if he is on your contacts)
That way it should be no problem in figuring out which is his number.
And I agree with YouWish - tell your fiance about the texts - best thing is to be open and honest.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2016): Just a question about the cell phone side of this situation... Doesn't the players' phone number have to be in your address book already, with his name, first ... in order for his text to show up with his name? If so, then why do you keep the players' phone number in the first place? I would assume that had you deleted his number in the first place, his text would have shown not by his name but by his number, sparing you an unwanted convo. So if you say that you've cut him off, why did you keep his number?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 April 2016):
 At this point, your primary concern shouldn't be with this reformed player who decided to text you to massage his own ego and play more games. Your primary concern is your committed relationship.
I would do two things immediately:
1. I would block the player's number. There's no longer a chance of getting anyone mixed up if he no longer has the ability to text you and get his jollies chatting up a committed woman in hopes of his ego being boosted by you being disloyal to the guy you're committed to.
AND
2. I would tell your boyfriend about this guy contacting you. Tell him what took place, that he and this guy from your past share the same name, and you immediately blocked him when you realized this guy wasn't the one you love enough to wear his promise ring. That builds trust in your relationship, the one you care about. Not telling partners about past ex's/sex buddies/romantic interests who contacted you can bite you in a big way down the line. If it were me, and my husband's ex or past crush from the past contacted him and he blocked her, if he told me about it, I'd trust him even more and I'd be appreciative that he was loyal to me when I wasn't around to see it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys!
To femmenoir, since I realized he wasn't my boyfriend I haven't responded to any of his texts other than the two I mentioned above. I only read his other texts because I was expecting a call or a text from my boyfriend due to him being out of town for the weekend to visit his family.
FTW, no I don't need to know where my boyfriend is at all times, I just wanted him to let me know if he got to his destination safely.
As for blocking his number, since he has the same first name as my boyfriend i'll just wait until my bf gets back that way I won't accidently block and delete my bf number.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (9 April 2016):
 Hi,
your msg is quite ironic, because i am going through exactly the same situation at present, actually much worse and i am married!
I blocked him immediately, so no more harrassment.
You must stop giving any attention whatsoever to this guy, regardless of the mix up via your ph.
The fact is, you're in a committed relationship, there isn't room for three and he would know this.
He sounds to me, like a total sleaze and player and the fact that he is flirting with you, asking ridiculous questions, shows his lack of maturity.
Yes, he wants one final challenge, to see if you are easy enough to win over, but not for anything more than a one night stand!
Sorry to sound so brutal.
He doesn't actually respect you, your partner, or your relationship. If he did, he wouldn't be behaving in such a way.
How dare he tell you, that you are way too young to be getting married and that you should be having fun, etc;.
Well, actually you're not too young, you're of a standard age to be wanting to settle down and get married, especially if you wish to start a family in the near future.
This guy sounds like an irresponsible and easy guy. Stay away from him and do not reply to any of his texts/msgs.
If you do, you are only giving him attention, more importance and more ammunition to keep coming back for more attention.
Your partner wouldn't want you to converse with this guy, so throw him away in the rubbish bin and do not waste another second of your precious life, even dwelling on him and his stupid behaviour.
He is not your "reality", you and your partner are.
Btw, this guys "reality", is his "fantasy"!
He is living in his own delusional world, whereby, you are his fantasy.
I can almost guarantee, that if he behaves this way with you, he'll be doing the same thing with a number of other women and probably has done so for a long time. He cannot help himself. Some guys are unfortunately, just this way inclined.
All the best!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 April 2016):
Maybe now that you are "almost engaged" you are a challenge that he wants to test.
But... I think it's more about him being a guy full of himself. He thinks a few lines in a text will get you to drop a fiance and your knickers.
Personally, I get why you have just not answered, I think though that I would have told him, no you don't have a snowballs chance in Heck, have a nice life ... and then blocked him.
Not answering him is good too. Because it makes him a non- issue. Someone who doesn't "deserve" your attention.
I'd still block his number, no need to keep that in your phone.
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