A
female
age
51-59,
*ennyMack
writes:What do you think of opposite sex friendships? What are the boundaries when both of you are in relationships but not exactly friends with thier signigicant others? Is it ok to have one on one intimate opposite sex friendships? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, JennyMack +, writes (6 October 2008):
JennyMack is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks again for all the answers. My boyfriend and I had been having some sex issues and he was seeking ego boosters in emphasizing which female acquaintances of his has a thing for him, or who may have given him special attention in the past. It blew my mind with jealousy and insecurities. Mind you, none of these women friends had been a lifelong friend, and the ones I was really worried about were ex's. But the casual friends bothered me a bit too. My boyfriend was insecure about the sexual problems and was acting a bit possessive. Sensing a lack of trust, I automatically fed that right into seeing a reason to be concerned about the other women who paid him attention. So I thought, "if he isn't sure he trusts me, does that mean I should not trust him?". Since joining this site, my boyfriend has apologized and we have talked about these issues and have tossed aside the bull.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 If the friendship is platonic, and innocent, then how is it different from an intimate friendship with the same sex? You dont turn your back on your friends!
I don't mean to say that your feelings aren't important, but imagine how you would feel if you were the friend, and if you had a long-time friendship with a guy, and he became involved in a relationship with someone who demanded that he end your friendship. Imagine that you have a friend and you've been there for each other for years, before he got into a relationship, and then the girlfriend tried to end the friendship. I can see this problem in a different light, because I've been the friend, and if my best friend (who is a guy) were to abandon me because his girlfriend asked him to, then I would feel very cut up about it. When you're in a relationship, there has to be trust, or the relationship won't work. I don't feel like people should turn their back on a friend, for any reason.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): its ok to have a friend you see once every blue moon,if they have no sexual intrest in you from past and you or they dont go out of your way to see each other,anything more and your asking for trouble
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A
female
reader, JennyMack +, writes (20 July 2008):
JennyMack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to you for replying to my questions, Cupidguy and OlderSister. I really wanted to bounce this off other people and see if you might agree with me that I just don't think it's appropriate for my boyfriend to be carrying on an individual friendship with another woman, especially that this woman expressed interest in him a couple of years ago. He didn't take her advances, but keeping a friendship with her feels disrespectful to me. I've expressed that to him and he says he will handle it, but it's been 5 months and she will still contact him saying she needs him, or coming up with a drama for attention. I let him know finally that I've had it. If it happens again, I'm gone.
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