A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a relationship with a guy I have know for over 30 years. We first got together in 1983 then lost touch.Met again in 1999 by chance and rekindled and had a child. We both have children for previous relationships.Cutting a long story short. He has been a great dad to all my children and his own. We have never lived together and neither of us has ever married.I have always been very independent and I have no own career and properties, car etc so don't need much more than the love of a man and some companionship.He has always been very secretive and never says much. For years he has never invited me in to where he was living. I used to ask but gave up asking. after a while I stopped invited him into my home and also stopped sleeping with him as I was feeling disrespected. He would make fun of me with my older son.He continued to be a great dad to the kids. For the past couple of weeks he has been asking me out. Each time I could not make it. Last night I did. He invited me to a new place I assume he has bought. He would not say much. His pictures all over and one of our son. We sat and watched a film and ended up in bed.I don't understand why he did not invited me to his old place. Yes it was rented and beside a train station - so what? I've never been attracted to him for what he has - what is he trying to say to me - I 'm confused.I tried talking to him and explained why we had not been intimate for nearly 3 yrs. He listened but did not say much. I said I wanted more of a commitment as I am not wasting any more time. he said he was not sure how he felt about me after all these years.Any words of wisdom appreciated. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lowipop +, writes (13 August 2015):
What's there to be confused about? He's not sure how he feels about you after all these years.
Can I ask you a question? How do you feel about yourself? Can't be very good to pant after someone who doesnt know how he feels about you and you still want him.
Maybe he would feel diferently about you if you looked more attractive. And I dont mean physically. What I'm saying is desperation will NEVER make you attractive to anyone. Go out with someone else. Plan for a life with someone who is head over heals for you. Visualize yourself with such a person and look around you, not at him. At and for someone who treats you the way you want to be treated. You deserve it (in case you feel you don't)
Stop worrying about this character, and put he focus on yourself, your life, be someone that a person could fall in love with. WHo is she? WHat would she look like? Act like? Talk about? Talk to? Be a creature unlike any other. Get a little full of yourself, go work out, and take that class you always wanted to. Let people see you in motion. That's what guys are attracted to. Everything else will fall into place. Does't matter if it's him or not. That has to be your attitude.
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