A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 months and he has fingered me and I have given him a hand job. We've both considered having sex but I'm not sure if I'm ready. Sometimes I want to have sex and I feel confident but sometimes I get too scared I will get pregnant or get an sti . I know that condoms can protect me from both of those issues but I'm still scared . I have talked to my boyfriend about sex and we both agree we want to do it . I'm not sure if I'm ready or not , what should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2017): Simple answer is if you have to ask you aren’t ready. plenty of time for grown up sex stuff later on. right now yuo should be paying attention to school and personal growth--not his hyperactive penis. he can give himself his own handjobs
imagine if your parents caught you in the middle of handjob. how grown up are you really for that, eh?
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 March 2017):
 Sweetie if you have doubts then you are not ready. You need to wait until you feel 100% comfortable or else you will live the rest off your life regretting it. Also condoms do not cover STDs you can still catch those and they are also not 100% effective so you need to think about going on the pill also.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 February 2017):
 Nah, I say just wait until the moment feels right and you feel comfortable. You've already had sex, btw. What you mean is probably intercourse. Handjobs and fingering IS SEX ALSO. So you are already having sex, if that helps ease the tension.
I say stick to the hand jobs and do what feels comfortable. Sex is about enjoyment and doing the things that feel good. It's not about rushing to some goal or reach whatever point the fastest. If you go at it too fast you will just feel uncomfortable, it will not be pleasant, you will not like it, and I don't really see what the point of it would be then.
Please take some female pride also, which a lot of women (especially young) forget about: your body is there for YOUR pleasure, not his. If what he does hurts, feels uncomfortable, or just plain and simple doesn't turn you on, you tell him to stop. And then you do something enjoyable instead. If he can't make you feel good, then he doesn't get to do it any more. Really! Boys his age are eager to please. Let him get good at fingering and maybe using his tongue and see if he can't give you an orgasm before you more on to the next thing.
If you're scared of pregnancy then just don't have intercourse. There's too many other enjoyable sexual acts you can try out instead.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 February 2017):
 IF you even for one second think you are not ready then you are not ready.
FWIW I was very young when I lost my virginity and I'm sorry I did not wait longer. Truly.
If you have to ask on a website what to do then the answer is JUST SAY NO....
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (27 February 2017):
Far far to young .. I know I know you feel grown up .. believe me you are not .. having sexual intercourse to early as a female and not being excited because your too tense can actually cause damage to your vagina area and that experience is the one you will carry throughout your life .
On top of that it's illegal at your age .. if the boy is older he would get into trouble if not your parents and social work coming to your door .
For me I think you should hang onto to your bud don't let it blossom into a flower until your fully ready .. and yes your body will get urges that's normal and never ever feel you have too, to keep some lad as he will only move on once he does get
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 February 2017):
 If you are not sure if you are ready or not- then you are not ready.
When you are ready - you know it, no doubt. As simple as that.
Do yourself a favour , though- when you feel ready, get also reliable contracception ,though. The pill or the shot etc. Condoms will protect you from STDs better than they will protect you from pregnancies. I know personally, not just one, but a few women who got pregnant because the condom broke or slipped off or was faulty. While an unwanted pregnancy is always a problem precisely insofar is not wanted, yet if if happens to an older ( than you ) girl it does not have the massive, life-altering, disruptive impact that it has in the life of someone your age.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2017): Oh Lordy Lord, Jesus! Try to hold off. You're quite young, it may not feel like it but you will look back and think maybe I could have waited a few years. I wish I could sit down with you properly to discuss this because there's so many things that come with sex that you don't see until after you start having sex.You're very good to be concerned about your sexual health and pregnancies and if you do end up having sex make sure you continue to be responsible. The thing is sex complicates life! There's things you will start thinking about like.. how many sexual partners is too many? Will i be judged for having sex with x amount of people? Can I be honest about the amount of sexual partners? What contraceptives should I go on? (really hard decision because they all mess with your hormones) Is this guy using me for sex? will he leave me if i don't have sex with him? am i doing it right? am i comfortable with the things he wants to do in the bedroom? is it too soon? and things that you're likely to think...he used me. he only wants to have sex. he's a selfish partner. is all my value between my legs. i really want to have sex but i have no one to have sex with and don't want to sleep around. you'll accidently sleep with one or two people you shouldn't, someone might go tell everyone you had sex and you'll get bullied for it. There's a lot of stress a young girl shouldn't have to worry about.2 months is too soon especially at your age. it may be hard but wait for 6 months. keep dry sexing and touching each others bit. Maybe do oral, just no vaginal sex please.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2017): Age issues aside, if he's not pressuring you into doing it, then it sounds like you have a good thing going. Just know that things will change once you have sex- not in a bad way, but it wil be different. So being sensible now is the best thing to be doing, so good on you both for not rushing into it.Don't do it if you're not 100% ready. Your hormones (and his) are in full force at the minute so keeping a clear mind is difficult. Keep talking about it, be open with each other about it and when you are ready, and him, you will be happy you waited.One thing I would say is take extra care when fooling around with each other. If you get carried away and take it to the next stage without condoms to hand, things could go wrong! I'm not saying set a date and stick to it, I mean don't let it happen without having protection to hand- for example after a few drinks, at someone elses house or a party.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (27 February 2017):
 Firstly, you obviously know you are under the age of legal consent. The law is there to protect vulnerable individuals because, even at 15 (you could be younger) you are not ready to make this decision for yourself, much as you may think you are and much as the hormones may be racing through your body.
Your boyfriend could get into serious trouble for having sex with you under the age of 16. How old is he? If he is older than you, then you need to be extra careful (especially if he has already had sex with others - hence your STI worry).
If you are determined to go through with this, please make sure you use contraception. However, also be aware that no contraceptive is 100% foolproof.
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