A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A short time ago me and my wife had an argument just before we were going out to meet friends for some dinner and drinks. She wasn't quite ready, so she said she would meet up with us later. So I went and met with our friends. She came in about a half hour later in a very, very short dress and heels, and turning every guys head in the place. The dress was so short that she could not lean over without showing everything. She acted like it was just another day, but I knew that she was trying to get back at me for the argument we had earlier. Was this appropriate for her to show off her body to get back at me ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 November 2017):
 If the reason she wore it was to annoy you then that is petty and pretty childish. However did you ask her was she looking for a reaction or did you just assume? Maybe she liked the dress and felt good in it. It is her body so it is her choice how she dresses.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2017): As the females here are saying: it's her choice what she wears. As some of the guys here are saying: if she did it to spite you, then bad on her. I have a different slant on the matter.If she put that dress on knowing that you'd be annoyed, then the issue lies with you. Why should you be annoyed at her for wearing that kind of dress? Do you tell her not to? Do you rule the house? It sounds to me like you probably do, and her way of getting back at you for controlling her was to wear what she wants.This kind of 'getting back at someone' thing happens in relationships. I don't consider it petty though - not always, anyway. Sometimes this sort of thing has to happen to make the other person really understand an issue. In your case, the issue is in the fact you're offended by the dress she wore.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2017): Very short dresses that show off the legs are very much in style, so is underbutt very popular. Maybe that was her intention to show off her legs and possibly some underbutt. It sounds harmless to me. I have seen this before.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (20 November 2017):
If that’s what she did It’s pretty immature and disrespectful of you and your marriage but if you want to get back at her act as if it doesn’t bother you as a matter of fact laugh about it.
Or you could look at it the other way she wore the dress to show off for you and was hoping you would take the hint. If you love her write her a note telling her hoe beautiful she looked and how proud you were that a beautiful sexy woman like her was with you.
I think you’ll find the latter option more advantageous.
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A
female
reader, holeymoley  +, writes (20 November 2017):
 be glad that hot little lady is your wife-YOURS
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 November 2017):
 To be honest, HER body her choice of dress.
It's not like she ran out to a store to buy a "revenge dress" to have in her closet "just in case".
She is a GROWN woman and should be able to decide what dress is appropriate for the situation that isn't YOUR job as a husband to decide what she can and can not wear.
Do I find it a little petty of BOTH of you? Her for finding the tiniest dress because she KNEW it would make you uncomfortable, and you for thinking it's your "right" to pick her dress or be upset that other men looked at your wife. You don't OWN her. She isn't an object or a Barbie you can brush off and take off the shelf and dress as YOU see fit.
Maybe her dressing in a short dress wasn't for the "room" but for YOU to sit up and take notice. Maybe that argument made her feel like YOU don't value HER or how she looks and she wanted to make that obvious. OR, she dressed to show YOU that other men find her attractive.
Either way, SHE can wear whatever the hay hay she wants.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 November 2017):
 Anything a person does just to grate on their partner's nerves as a form of revenge for real or perceived slights,is inappropriate, because it's a petty, childish- and ineffective way to handle conflict.
Said that, though, ....
1) How do you know that your wife wore a revealing dress JUST to get back at you ? Maybe she likes that dress, she feels sexy and beautiful in it. Or, maybe, she felt a bit upset or down after your squabble and she needed something special to lift her mood ; which is not the same as ... revenge dressing .
2) Aren't you exaggerating a bit ? All she was showing off was...her legs . Mary Quant got clearance from the fashion- and morality ! - police in 1964 for her short skirts, and it's quite a few decades that short skirts, even very short ones, do not signal " vixen " ( or worse ... ) anymore. Of course it depends from the venue , occasion and context; at church, or grocery shopping at 8 in the morning, it would not be appropriate, But , in a social event, were you are °supposed° to dress to impress , what's the big deal ? As for not being able to lean over with a short dress,- well, that's normal, what do you expect ?! Normally people KNOW not to lean over when they wear a miniskirt.
3 ) I find a tad curious that you assume you can monitor or give your seal of approval to what your wife wears or how much skin she decides to show off. You wife is an adult, she is supposed to be able to make her own sartorial decision freely, and dress in any way SHE is comfortable with. You don't own her legs. Same as you don't own her eyes or lips in case she wants to rock a sexy look,nor her stomach if she wants to wear a bikini. Supposing that she does not generally dress inappropriately ( i.e. in a way that's grossly inadequate to the time, place, and attending people ) you should not take it so personally if once in a while she dresses to impress. All women - all PEOPLE ! - like to be liked, and like to receive admiring looks. Why is this so terrible ?!
In conclusion, if she showed off her legs just to punish you or offend you , that's wrong. But, IMO, it's also wrong, even more so, that you should feel punished or offended by a miniskirted wife on a night out !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2017): Well I doubt you can prove she wore it for the particular reason you believe so whether she did or not is really a mute point
It's her body and it's her right to dress it however she likes . Are you honestly claiming not to look at other women in revealing clothing ? I know my husband does and I know that's exactly why I feel entirely justified having other men look at me .
Not saying that's why your wife did it but a common logic is that husbands often have roving eyes and give the attention that belongs to their wives to other women therefore we have a right to feel sexy and attractive when we go out . Maybe that's all it was and nothing to do with the fight
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