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Trust is an issue because he's lied to me several times. How do we build the trust again?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 March 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

my bf and i been together for 2 years on a long distance relationship. Trust had always been an issue. He had lied to me in several times and it has hurted me a lot; but I've been wanted to give it a try 'cause i love him. Now, he lives closer to me; but i can't seem to stop checking his phone, etc. He wants me to trust him and stop checking him; but how could i if everytime i check i find something suspicious? I don't know what to do. How can i make him understand that I can't stop checking until I know for sure that he is not sneaking on me. I am afraid that he lies to me again since he has continuously liying to me. He says that i want to control his live; but i do not...i just want to find some trust in our relationship but i don't seem to get it...

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A female reader, Floppy +, writes (28 March 2006):

Floppy agony auntHello,

This guy obviously has not given you many reasons for you to trust him, but i'm sorry darling, a relationship without trust will not work. This guy shouldn't be bothered about you checking through him mobile phone if he has nothing to hide. Next time he tries to stop you, ask him what he is trying to hide and tell him he has got to be honest with you if you are going to be together. Think about your final decisions wisely darling! Good luck!... rate me.

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A female reader, StarNews +, writes (28 March 2006):

StarNews agony auntOnce he has given you a reason to mistrust, it is hard to let go of that feeling. If you feel insecure in the relationship, you will continue to look for evidence that he is being unfaithful to you. Though he only has himself to blame, the your mistrust he created may eventually destroy the relationship.

Since you have chosen to stay in the relationship, you need to believe in him, and give him a chance. And he needs to work on rebuilding your confidence and trust.

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