A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Friday night (about midnight) I met up with a female friend from out of town who was out on an internet date with a guy at a bar. There was another guy hanging out with them when I arrived. He was nice, quiet, a little more reserved (much like my personality) and completely gorgeous. It was extremely difficult to have any form of conversation other than small talk in between the loud, awful karaoke. Over the course of the next couple of hours, we exchanged minor pieces of information about each other and lots of smiles. He kept saying how he should probably head out, but found different reasons to stay a little longer. He would very innocently try to touch my arm, hold my hand, offer cute compliments in a non pushy or over the top manner. He casually asked for my number, to which I gave. He kept saying at random moments "you are killing me." And toward the end of the night, when we were gathering up people who needed a ride home, we were leaning against a fence outside talking almost cheek to cheek but he never made a move to kiss me and it's not my style to be forward and make the move. I (with my friend in the car too) drove everyone home to their respective places and with "my" guy being last. When we drove up his driveway, he told us to put the car in park and get out. We hesitated, so he opened his garage and out came his three older dogs who were adorable. He chatted a little, he held my hand the entire time. On my way home, he texted me really sweet messages and told me to call him tomorrow. I texted him the next good morning. He replied 4 hours later with a nice, reply..but very to the point and simple. We had plans for me to pick him up and take him to his car the next day, but he changed his mind and said he wanted to jog to get it and i said ok ttyl and left it at that. Neither he nor I have contacted each other since saturday afternoon. so here is my dilemma or confusion....if a guy seems completely interested in you all night, holds your hand, doesnt make any move on you, texts you five min after you go separate ways...but then the next day the texts seem basic and very limited. what does it mean? and should the girl wait and see if the guy contacts and if so how long? or should the girl contact and if so...how long until contacting? what does it all mean?and men say we are confusing....hahaha
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): Umm, he might just be busy with work or something atm. Give him a little time to make plans with you!
I'm not one to text/talk a lot unless the other person does so first. Unless the other person engages me a lot, I'll usually text them an invitation, we decide a time, finish the conversation, and then I'll talk to them again when we meet. Which might mean a week without conversation.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 It's not confusing, it's very simple. He was taken by you that night, he was attracted and so he flirted with you. The next day came and all those feelings were gone. Why? Who knows. He probably doesn't know either.
So:
should the girl wait and see if the guy contacts and if so how long?
Yes you can wait but if he doesn't get in touch in the next day or so, don't hold your breath.
or should the girl contact and if so...how long until contacting?
If you're curious to know then go ahead and send him a text in a few days. But if you have to send that text, things aren't looking good.
what does it all mean?
A guy found you attractive and thought you were cool to talk to but there was nothing more than that.
I don't think men are confusing. Women make all this into something that's not. He flirted with you, he made small talk, so what. He probably does that to many girls when he goes out. Unless he follows up with a text/phone call and asks you out, forget it. If only I knew this back in the day...would have saved myself a lot of analysing!
My advice to you...don't text/call/email. Leave him be. If he's really interested he's going to find you. Trust me.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 I think he is unsure about what he really wants at the moment. To me if he was interested I think he would have contacted you again. Something is holding him back but am not sure what it is to be honest. Maybe give it a few days if he does not get in contact then maybe drop him a message and ask him how he is and see where it goes from there, but if he doesn't make much more off an effort after that, I guess you need to come to terms with the fact that he is not interested after all and leave it at that.
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