A
female
age
41-50,
*.Kramer
writes:Thought that he was never going to leave us. I am six months pregnant now. The father of my child left us, when i was around four months. We began dating recently and had such a chemistry that he moved in to my apt and began to make plans together. He was not working and what he did earn was not even enough to fill up a tank of gas, but I did not care I loved him. I did everything I could to help my bf out, motivation, help pays his bills, motivate him, cook, clean, but he was having problems with whom I was.I was friendly and very outspoken. Our relationship was not going too well, by the third month but hey we promised to each other that we were a team and i believed it. We wanted to have children, so even with his finantial situation, we decided to plan for a little one. When I was pregnant the following month, things did not change. He was still floating on. Still going to clubs(without me). Until the day of the break up came where I had cryed to him over the phone to make me prioity number one, and he said he took it as a stab to his manhood. He said so many insulting things, including he was going to move out, so I packed his things and put them near my door. At this point I am 4 months pregnant. He arrived at my house very late and he was bluffing about moving. he had no where to go I guess, not that late. He argued with me and tryed to intimidate me by trying to throw things and almost hit me, so I called the POlice. By the time they got there he was gone. I did not speak to him that week. His cruise with the other woman he said was for Fitness Universe, was that weekend, and it hurt so bad. I texted him, in deep emotional disstress. He showed up to my house and tryed to explain his reation, and that he wanted to move back. I didnt agree to it. We later that week got into a text fight, where he said some of the nastiest things thats ever been said to me, and said that he was going to take my child away from me, and to stay with whomever was going to help me. But then he wanted to come over to fight a friend of mine who interceded my texts bc i was an emotional ball of tears, so I tried to place a restraining order on him, but was denied and he was notified. Its been 2 months and no word of him, or concern at least for his first born who is a boy. He trains in the park that is right across from me. Even though I moved I still see him. I thought that by being strong and not calling that i would feel better, but I have only hide the emotions because my love, and sadness is still very present, especially everytime the baby kicks. I want him to be here with us. I dont have family that supports me, or many friends, and my friend is just trying to get closer to being in a relationship with me, and he repulses me sometimes bc all I dream about is the father of my child and me. I want to contact him, but I am afraid of confirming what I feel, that he really does not care for my unborn and me and he moved on so quickly to the next one...Please give me some advise, and thx for ur time.
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (9 August 2010):
 You fell in love and got pregnant and moved in with a guy in less than four months? This is not love, this isn't real life, this is simply immature drama. He works out in the park next to you? ARe you referring to a trailor park? He can't earn a living but you wanted to have children with him without marriage and the willingness to let him sponge off of you.This guy is a nightmare, you called the police on him and he is now threatening to take your child from you? Yeah, I bet, more likely he will be a deadbeat that you have to SUE to get child support from.I don't have any advice for you except to say, what is this world coming too? In all seriousness, get some counseling, look into filing for child support, and the first order of business is to get a paternity test to prove that he is the father.I wish you luck....mostly I wish you some insight into creating your own problems and hopefully you will see this for the lightening bolt this is. Sometimes God comes knocking on our door quitely to tell us what we need to learn, we ignore him and we get a big fat rap on the head....lesson learned, I fear too late for you. And your child is the one who pays for your mistakes.This man dumped you and went on a cruise? Ok, I am sorry that he lied to you, but seriously girl? What part of red flags in a relationship is it that you don't recognize in this one? Learn it, and vow to do better next time.No one get's your trust or your child until a year and half of dating has passed and a ring is on your finger and a wedding has taken place and he has proven himself trustworthy and employable and willing to take care of himself and provide for a family.
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