A
female
age
30-35,
*ove-struckxo
writes:I'm at a point of no return with my friends. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over ten months, and we are very in love. I am 17, and he is 19. Before me, my boyfriend dropped out of high-school, and wasn't planning on going back, but I influenced him to go back and he will be graduating in a couple of months and I am very happy about this, but my friends are getting use to the adjustment of us being at the same school together, and 'flaunting' our love. Ulimately, we are inseperable. He is my best friend and my greatest championship. I have a lot of fun with him, and he is my comfort zone. My friends that I hang out with at school, are just very, how do I put this? Bitter people. Just a bunch of girls that drink alot, and have got their heart broken more then once. I try to make time for them as much as I can, but I have classes with them and not with my boyfriend, so I am constantly with them in class, but I spend the majority of my lunch hours with him, and so what? I find myself constantly having to prove myself to them, feeling like I'm going to lose them if I don't spend more time with them and what for? I feel like I distance myself from my boyfriend when I'm around him, because I am scared that of what they'll think. These are not people who I can see myself being friends with forever, and where I live and the school I go too, it's hard to meet new people and adjust to new crowds, but my boyfriend will only be there for a couple more months, and I will be there for another couple years so I don't want my actions to have consequences.But, I have been there for these certain group of girls forever. Constantly listening to their bullshit and their bitter lives, and I have always been there for them. I just don't understand why people tend to look at the now and can't look back on the past few years when I've only been nothing but a good friend and I highly doubt they would be picking on me if they had boyfriends.Ugh, I just really find myself upset and I cry about it from time to time. My boyfriend is the best ever and I take it out on him. He understands if I want 'girl' time, but frankly I don't want it, not with them. We have different choice of life-styles, they party -- I don't, they miss the 'old' me and I they always question everything I do and make me feel like I am boring because I don't do what they do and I find myself telling them off from time to time but other times I swallow my pride and I don't say anything.Sorry for the length, but I will give 10 points to the best answer, it won't go left un-noticed. Somebody please just shed some light on this situation? And how do I not get stuck in the middle?
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female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Hey
You said yourself that they're "bitter people", and it seems likes their bitterness is, for want of a better word, infecting you because you're taking your anger out on your boyfriend. If they can't see how much you've been there for them and they're being nasty to you all because they miss the times when all of you were single. It seems like you have nothing in common with these girls, and to be frank, they're holding you back. If you don't want to party, don't. If you don't want to be around them, don't. You need to talk to them and say you feel like you have nothing in common anymore. Maybe try to organise hanging out at the weekends and doing something fun as a group before you cut them off completely, see if you can get back what made you want to be friends with them in the first place?
These girls are probably jealous that you're in a good relationship if all they seem to be getting is bad ones. It's probably because they've earned themselves a reputation as party girls and none of the guys take them to be serious girlfriends, I have a lot of guy friends and every single one of them says that they steer clear of party girls because they bring too much trouble.
Why not see if you and your boyfriend can hang around with his friends? There must be people he spends his time with when you're with the girls? Maybe join a club at school - that's a great way to meet people you have something in common with. Either way, try and make some new friends before you decide to ditch your "bitter" ones. It seems to me, in the long run, these girls are never going to accept someone they're jealous of. Usually, I'd say boyfriends come and go but friends are forever, however in this case, it seems like your boyfriend is the most likely to be there for the long haul.
Good luck xxx
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