A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:Since breaking up with my girlfriend I have been so lonely. I met her three months after moving to this city and she became my best friend. Now she's gone, seeing other dudes, and I'm left alone sitting in my room thinking about all the time we spent together. It used to be whenever I was bored or lonely I'd just drive over and see her. That's no longer an option anymore...so now what do I do? I hate clubs, I don't drink so bars are out of the question too, I hang with friends sometimes, but its just not the same. I;m just so bored and lonely, I don't know what to to. The worst is when I think about her being out with other guys. Thinking about them smiling and touching her just annoys the hell outta me...Can anyone tell me how to fix this agonizing emptiness?
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male
reader, fgh16d +, writes (10 October 2010):
now would be a good time to rent the movie "swingers" it is a vince vaugh comady about relationships. it will make you laugh and help
A
female
reader, BBee  +, writes (10 October 2010):
Awww hun, I'm sorry your feeling so bad. "TIME" is the only thing that is going to get you over this. It may take 3 months, 6 months, a year. "TIME"... As for you sitting in your room thinking about her, (and I know your hurt and sad) it's time to get up and get into some activities to get your mind off her. Start working out at the gym with a friend. Get involved as an assistant coach to a sports activity. You need to be around other people. Do your best to kept busy and I know that "TIME" will pass. DON'T DATE anyone until you have dealt with these feelings (hurt etc.) Although things are tough right now, you will see that your new friend "TIME" will reward you. Remember, short term pain will end up to be a long term gain thanks to "TIME."
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A
female
reader, kih88 +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Sorry about your break up. It sounds like your gf was a huge part of your life, so now that she is gone, you feel kind of lost. But if everyone came to a dead halt after their first break up, the world would come to a stand still. It's reasonable to have a mourning period for losing your gf in a break up, but you need to eventually get back up and get yourself out there. Hang out more with friends if you have to, or go find something in the community to get involved in and distract yourself. Start a hobby even, preferably one that will get around more people. Whatever route you take to get yourself out of your rock bottom status, you will eventually make new connections with people, and find new friends--or eventually someone else who could be girlfriend material.
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 It seems you've answered part of your own question. You're lonely because you became used to having someone around all the time and now that's suddenly stopped it's a bit of a shock to your system.
I think you need time to get over her, because from what you've said you obviously haven't. You can be with friends, I know it won't be the same but friends are meant to be there for you when you're down, they'll find ways of cheering you up. Maybe take up a new hobby? It could be something she didn't like but you always wanted to try (note: I don't mean smoking etc.. something that hopefully won't kill you).
Once you've over her why not go to bars? I don't drink and I still go out with my friends, if I get thirsty I'll have sparkling water or a soft drink. It doesn't make you any less fun, it just makes you the designated driver! :)
You could try joining a club, it's a great way to meet people. I know friends that go to things like Salsa dancing classes and they're always telling me how there's a shortage of men! Plus, you're new moves will probably get you some attention from the ladies :) You just need something to put the time and energy she used to take up into. Maybe trying harder at work, go after a promotion? Now that you only have to please yourself, you can afford to have meetings over-run or do a little over-time. It's extra cash and you won't have a dis-pleased girlfriend waiting at home, upset because you missed dinner.
I hope some of this helps!
xxx
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