A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf asked me the oh so popular question "Who would you save in a burning fire?" He told me to choose one of my three siblings. I had a very hard time and kept telling him I'd either save them all or die togpther with them because I wouldn't be able to live knowing I saved one and let the others die. While he was pressuring me for an answer I asked him who'd he choose between his two beloved nieces. He chose the eldest because she came first. Should I take to consideration something about his answer? He has a son and I was quite hurt knowing he'd save him because he came before any children we might have. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011): In one of our church meetings we discussed the tsunamis and all the natural disasters. Our Pastor asked what would we do/save if we had x amount of time. I told them i would be so panick stricken that i would be no use to anyone and would just basically try to save myself. This got our group laughing of course bec my answer was perhaps selfish and cruel. BUT. I was honest.
The way i see it only when u are in a life threatening situation will u know what u will actually do. So no matter what your best intentions are u just dont know how u will react.
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (19 August 2011):
 If you were just playing Twenty Questions and you were both feeling tired, and maybe he was getting bored, then that puts it all in a different light. Being tired can result in responses that are not as considered as usual.
Maybe he was feeling tired, and so didn't think through his answer before he said it.
So it was not a single momentous?
So not a question out of the blue?
But instead just an ill-thought out comment 'out of blue'
With that clarification I am now feeling that it was a single uncharacteristic comment.
(which originally had me wondering 'what was he thinking to do that?'')
But with your excellent update and with hindsight I now think his comment stood out as 'different,' but it was still just one of many comments said as part of the game you were playing.
Regards
Abella
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I do take offense in that. Your answer was fine until that closing sentence.
All in all, thank you all for answering. I believe I should say we were playing 20 questions during a long trip and I had been bugging him because his questions were boring. I simply wished to know if I should've looked into his answer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2011): I can read into his question and answer that he is very rigid in his beliefs, whether they make sense or not. He would save the eldest niece because she came first...there is no logic to that answer. It makes no sense. It is analagous to asking him which fruit he would save from the fire, an apple or a grape. And he says, an apple, cause it's red. Kind of leaves you scratching your head. Which makes me think he is not that smart and not that sensitive (and I hope you don't take offense I'm just trying to answer your question).
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A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (18 August 2011):
i wouldnt worry about it people can answer this but it probably wouldnt be true if it actually happened you wouldnt stand and think who shoild i save you would try save whoever you could all if possible i would just forget about it
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A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (18 August 2011):
 Well, setting aside reactions of your bf's question, let us just put it this way, there is no right or wrong answer on this. And yes, when I was a public teacher this question was raised and part of our situational oral examination. Now his question, "who would you save among your 3 siblings in a burning fire?" The one who is nearest you or the one you see first is the one you need to save first. In a question like this and when you are in the position of really saving, you wouldn't think of emotions but you will be thinking of lives.I hope my answer helps.
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A
female
reader, Irish49  +, writes (18 August 2011):
 I agree with Abella's assessment. Your boyfriend has a son, so I must assume he's around the same age as you are? This is one of those silly 'test' questions that one expects much younger people (eg: adolescents) to ask each other, in history class. So based on that, I will have to say...he was completely out of line to ask such a thing and I'd be questioning his sincerity, not to mention wondering about his maturity.
In my opinion..his answer is completely unimportant for your consideration. What you need to rethink is why he asked this question, in the first place. Unless he has some wonderful, amazingly good characteristics that you cannot overlook, you can let this 'blip' of his go. But do realize that every man you date, is not your future husband and the father of your children. That's what dating is all about--it's not about just getting a man, it's all about separating the good from the bad. He may not be a contender..only you know that, for certain.. If he is making you pause and rethink about this relationship, then that is a red flag. If it is you may have to reconsider if he's the one for you. If he's not, then just go back to the drawing board...and always try to select well and choose wisely.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (18 August 2011):
I would question the judgement of any person posing the question in this way.
Objects yes. Such as what item would you save from your home. And before Digial saving of photos online some people would probably have said things like their photos.
Though sensible people who put all their important papers into a fireproof container might say that.
But to re-phrase the question as "which sibling?". That is seriously disturbing as a question. And of course you would want to save all.
If he says questionable things and concerns you then I think a Serious re-think is required about this guy.
Disturbing, Yes.
I think I would have called him on him even asking such a question in the first place. And I definitely would not have put up with his pressure to answer the question.
If the pressure kept up then I would further Call him Out on the pressure, which was also inacceptable.
He fails on so many grounds, based on your account of his actions and his words.
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