A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:helow. Im 19 and im having problems wit my bf. He is 20 and we have been going owt 4 two n a half years nw. He always says he loves me. Bt i dnt trust him. A year ago i found porn on his phone. I confronted him abowt it n he sed he wil neva du it agen. So fine i believed him. The second time i found videos on his computer that he downloaded. Thats wen i flipped. He told me his sori n deleted them. Nw i dnt knw wether i cn trust him or nt. He works alot n spends time with his frends wich is nrmal, bt he hardly spends time with me. N the time that he spends time wit me he wants to have sex n sleep. N i dnt like it. Today i told him that i dnt wana c u anymre. He told me that he wil neva let go of me. Can i trust him agen? Should i just leave him alone? Wat du u think? Is he worth it? Thank u
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell... U dnt knw wat u tawking about. Yes i hate porn. If u like it.. Then thats ur own thing. I wud neva wana change my man. I jus wanted to stop the lies. Anyway thanks. We sat down n spoke. All is gud nw.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Your putting words into our mouth's...no one here has called you paranoid at all.Your lying yourself... in your original post, the main thing that made you angry is that your guy continued to look at pornography. This made you angry enough to "flip"... no you seem to claim you have no problems with pornography and only have a problem with lies.Women do this often. They say they have a problem with pornography, and when people discuss the issue, tell them about different experiences, or different ways of tackling porn hatred, all of a sudden, they have a problem with lying and think that pornography is fine.Sigh.. your guy likes porn, you hate it. When a man has a partner who hates what he likes, who forbids him from enjoying his pleasures, who cries and get's hurt, he will continue to seek out these pleasures, probably even more, because they are a nice relief and pleasure from the arguments in his relationship. He will not give up his pleasure, he has no problem with it, and his pleasures make him feel good and cause him to smile. If he loves you he will lie to save you from getting hurt. What he really wants to say is, "woman leave me alone, I aint a girl, I like to wank and I like pornography.. I aint a dog with no balls who you can lead arround by the tail.. I am a man, and I will not be changed into a sexless being for your convience..."Since to say this will hurt he prefers to tell you lies. Yes, he will look at pornography again, and if you hate it and always make a scene, he will continue to lie over this issue (and nothing else) because it's what you want to hear (yea, sure sweetheart, porn is bad and I'll give it up) rather than say what he actually thinks.You hate porn, this guy likes it, if you find porn you make a scene, so he continues to look and lie about it.Solution to your problem is very easy. Dump this man, he and you have different interests. Stop the crying and worrying and go find yourself a man who hates pornography.What you want from us is impossible, you want us to change the man or tell you how to change him. We can't do that, he's just a normal man, a lover of porn who will lie if he is caught by a porn hating woman... most men are like this, you must go and find yourself a man who dosen't act like this, why stay unhappy with a porn loving man who will never, ever change... why put yourself to so much trouble.. go and find someone else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlie by ommision, i dnt care. Jus dnt lie to my face. Its stil lies at the end of the day bt at least if i ask, be honest. Its nt the porn im concerned about, its the lies! Nobody likes being lied to. A relationship is built on trust, not porn! Charliesdevil. Clearly u dnt knw my situation. I tried the best to explain it bt u jus keeping thinking im paranoind about my guy watchin porn. Thats da least of my worries.
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female
reader, charliesdevil73  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 If you are that upset about it then yes, you should leave him. But, know this. No matter which guy you date in the future, there is a HUGE chance he will look at porn. And, he most likely won't even tell you since it's a private matter. So, since omitting the information IS lying by omission are you going to leave him too? What if he is "the one", will you leave him over an issue as small as porn? Pick your battles, and pick them wisely. Trust me, I know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni just dnt trust him anymore. If he can lie about a stupid thing like porn then wat else is he lieing to me about. I dnt like lies. N he constantly lies bout stupid things. I dnt threaten him or give him any reason to lie. Bt he does it. So shud i be okay with the lies jus like url saying i shud be okay with the porn?
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female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (10 September 2010):
First things first, he's a man. Men are visual creatures. Men are horny....a lot. My fiance told me once that he's horny even when he doesn't want to be. Now, you checked his phone and the history on his computer. I can't reprimand that, I have looked at my guy's computer history. But, it's like opening Pandora's box isn't it? It becomes all you think about and all you see when you close your eyes. What you need to know though is that he doesn't do it because he doesn't care about you. He does it because he's a horny man and you are not available every time he wants it. Also, porn is something men do just for them. It's a way to please themselves and only themselves. It is going to be hard for you to deal with at first, trust me I know. But, like Miamine suggests, ask him to delete his history or create you your own sign in. I love my fiance more than anything, and if you feel that way about your man then you need to decide if you are willing to try to deal with this issue. Either way, talk to him. Tell him why it upsets you, do not use "You make me feel" statements. Use "I feel...when you" statements. If you chose to learn to deal with it, let him know. If you decide to ask him to stop looking at it, be prepared for both answers, "ok" and "No". I know this is a very sensitive issue, but let me assure you it has nothing to do with you. You do not fall short on anything, you are not ugly, you are not fat, or anything else you may be thinking. I hope you choose what is right for you. Good luck.
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reader, Miamine +, writes (10 September 2010):
That's fine, you don't like porn, no problem.. But it's his phone and his pc, not yours. You need to stop looking at his stuff if your going to get upset by what you see.
Tell him how you feel, you don't like the pornography stuff, and it humiliates you when it's in your face. Ask him if he can delete his history or give you your own account on his pc. There's no reason why you can't go on the guest account and he can keep his stuff private. Not sure about the phone. Ask him if there's a way to keep the naked girls locked off and difficult to find. If not, ask if he can delete them. It's a bit disturbing when he walks around looking at porn all the time. But I hear that's what young men do.
Find a way to talk to him. Not fair to ban him from looking at naughty things. But maybe there is a way to make sure it's less upsetting for you. Or maybe if he knows how much you dislike it, he will either give it up, find some way to make you feel better or find a better way to keep it out of sight.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni understand wat u all r saying. Bt y does he say his going to stop n the the next thing his doing it agen. Its realy disturbing. N i dnt mind him watching it bt i dnt wana c it on his phone or his p.c. I jus cnt help da way i feel. I jus dnt like the site of porn.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (7 September 2010):
I think your guy likes to look at pornography, and he will lie about it if you force him to stop.
However, this doesn't mean he is cheating or will sleep with other women. Lots of men like pornography and so do lots of women, but this has nothing to do with cheating on people...
Don't trust him about pornography, but do change your views that men who look at porn will cheat on you... many men who don't like porn are the biggest cheater's of all, they need more than images. Porn often is an indication that your man will be faithful to you.
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reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Second chances are what relationships are all about. But remember you can't read his thoughts so he might think porno thoughts from time to time so better be careful(joking0.
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reader, nikita1234u +, writes (7 September 2010):
i think so many boys and girls watch pron websites, hmm there r so many websites related to porn, and all websites has huge amount of visitors, i dont think it is bad to watch porn, so think about this factor b4 taking any decision.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 September 2010):
 I don't think lying about porn means he will lie about other things, but I do think that if you stay with him he will continue to look at porn (and lie about it).
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