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writes: I'm not exactly sure how to start this. I guess right now I'm at a point where I don't know what I should do about a very close guy friend of mine. Here is the gist of what is happening. The guy friend I'm refering to is Seth. He's awesome and is pretty much my best friend. This summer he was dating another girl and well, one thing led to another and they basically ended up breaking up because she was jealous of me, and told him he had to choose me or her. and he said that he couldn't do that. so she broke up with him. (at this point we were strictly friends).Well, now he and my best girl friend, Haylie, are "talking". Which isn't really that big of a deal, other than now i think i'm starting to get feelings for him too.,.but like, they come and go. Some days i really think i'm falling in love with him but then the next its nothing more than a brotherly love i have for him. Now, we are talking about fooling around. Nothing serious, just making out and stuff like that. Which i'm cool with and so is he. but then it rises the question of will that make me like him more than i should? will that make Haylie mad at me? will it make things awkward between us? (that one i'm not too worried about. there's pretty much nothing weird between us at this point.) so i guess what i'm asking. Is should i go through with turning out relationship into more of a friends with benefits, thing or should i just stick with being best friends?? any ideas, helpful tips, past experiences, anything at all would be very much appriciated! thank you in advance!!
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best friend, broke up, friend with benefits, jealous Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks and yes i completely agree with the "no turning back after sex" statement. We're not planning on taking it that far. He's had sex, but i personally don't want to have sex before i'm married. We'd just be fooling around, not going completely all the way. That's why its harder for me to see the harm in it. But it also rises the other question of, will it make me want to have sex with him?
ugh, this is so confusing!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): To repley to your question I have to say from experience, that friends with benefits, can be a good thing as long as you both know that's what it is and only that. There's no jealousy when the other starts to talk to another male/female. There is 1 problem though, when 1 or both of you decide to get in another committed relationship, it is now a little awkward for you to still be friends, especially if your new partners know you were in a sexual relationship regardless if it was just for benefits. I know this first hand trust me. I was friends with this guy since third grade, I'm 42 now, He was in my wedding. Then my husband and I split up. Slowly I started seeing my friend as a friend at first but then turned into something else. I was nervous about it and expressed to him that I didn't want to lose his friendship if we didn't work out, and it literally took me months before I would sleep with him. Well the relationship didn't work out, but we did remain friends, and at first it was awkward to see him and I would tell him I don't know what to do hug and kiss you or just say hi, when we were just friends we would hug but now seemed a little strange. We got back to being just friends comfortably for a while then it was friends with benefits with no problems until my husband came back and we got back together, now what????? Di I still have my friend since 3rd grade, and allways make my husband a little suspicious?? Or is my friendship over. I'll tell you I call him about once every couple months and see how he is, sneak a visit maybe once a year just to catch up only, no sex involved, but I miss him, I miss my friend, so you decide how much your friend is worth to you and if it's worth risking. You may be able to handly the whole benefits thing, but will your future lovers???
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