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Should I give up and become a charity worker in rural Africa?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 November 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 24 November 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'm a virgin. 30 years old and no prospects. I'm slim good looking etc etc but its just not happened. Should I give up and become a charity worker in rural Africa? I've been given the opportunity to teach Aids awareness in East Africa for about a year. I have nothing (other than friends and family and my cat) keeping me here.

I am accomplished (good job, good education) but without sex, life is pointless.

View related questions: aids

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A female reader, amethystsouls United Kingdom +, writes (24 November 2011):

amethystsouls agony auntHey...

look, sex and men are not all that I have you know. Seriously more hassle than worth!

I am female from the UK also, Londoner and I am about to turn 31 and I have no job and no man. I am attractive and educated (have a degree and a masters) I have beem in my career sector for 5 years and last year I was laid off and since then (about 10 months) I have been on the dole looking for a job (I mean interviews every week and nothing) and I am living in a small room share with friends. My boyfriend left me as well for a younger girl who was more sucessful and I was just about to give up recently... WHEN...

I suddenly realised life is all about the uknown and you never know what is going to happen. At the moment I am busting my arse to find a job in anything, even shop work (and I had a good media career before) I would pick a career that I love and being independent over a man anyday.. but that is just me! So what I am saying is, count your blessings you have a job and have so much in your life... and YES go to Africa... you never know what it may bring - PM if want to chat ever xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011):

"without sex, life is pointless". So many things wrong with that phrase. So your family, friends, career, religious beliefs, home, pet, and memories mean nothing to you? Well, if you believe so, then congratualtions. You are a first degree idiot. If you are going to "give up" because you can't get some, than I have lost all respect in you as a person. And going to africa is not giving up, but if you decide it is, than it is. And just because your 30 doesn't mean you aren't going to ever have sex. Jeez, this whole post is so depressing!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011):

Where are all the women like this when I go looking?

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A female reader, mammaboo United Kingdom +, writes (24 November 2011):

mammaboo agony auntI don,t think you can class going to Africa to become a charity worker as giving up!If this is what you think of this work i wouldn,t go. Your heart isn,t in it. However if im wrong and your heart is it,you could meet someone out there!

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A female reader, moon river  United Kingdom +, writes (24 November 2011):

moon river  agony auntGo to Africa, you might just find love

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A female reader, Battista United Kingdom +, writes (24 November 2011):

Hey OP

Caring Guy is right, you sound pretty hard on yourself!

As far as Africa goes, I think it is a great opportunity full stop. If you've got the chance to travel, meet new people, teach a valuable subject and (I'm assuming) get paid, then grab it with both hands! It sounds like a great experience, and you should go for it.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (24 November 2011):

Wow. This sounded pretty harsh! You don't seem to have too much confidence in yourself, which I can understand if you don't want to be a virgin. But you mustn't be harsh on yourself. And you mustn't use this opportunity to run away from life in the hope that it'll get better over in Africa. You might well find that your own lack of confidence is what is holding you from finding the right man. So before you're so harsh on yourself again, please take a look at your own confidence levels and also make sure you're trying to meet people in the right place.

That said, this chance in Africa might well be a big chance to help people and also spend some time working on yourself. Perhaps you'll even meet another aid worker out there that you'll take a liking too. And if that doesn't happen, at least you can come back here feeling better about yourself.

I think the trip to Africa is a good chance whatever happens. It won't answer your problems, but it might give you the chance to take a break from worrying about it so you can work on yourself.

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