A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive being in a relationship for the last 15 month. He is 7 years older than me not that you would think it as he quite immature for his age. He told me he has being in a relationship and lived with someone and that he got hurt. I have no evidence of this. When i ask him what went wrong he just says its his business and wont talk about it. I have never met his family and only one of his friends, not that he has many. He has a really good job and lives with one of his grandparents.He puts me down a lot and anything I do or get he seems jealous over it. We have broken up a few times but when we do he just keeps textn me saying he loves me loads and stuff so I always go back with him.I have asked him why i have never met his family and he just says cause you are not like them. He comes to my house as I still live with my parents and he knows all my friends.He also spends a lot of time on facebook chatting to lasses who he doesnt know and they are all round about 16, 17 and 18 year old and he is 27. This was how we met. We have had some huge arguments about this and now he has deactivated his account but I know he is reactivating now and again as I have seen him pop up.All my friends and family think I deserve better and none of them like him. My mum thinks he is very immature, arrogant and puts me down to make himself feel better. Most of the time I think I am wasting my time with him but I really do love something about him.I have just started a new job and I really love it and I am starting to feel confident about myself again (as he took it away from me) and my life is turning into a new direction with my career. Should I carry this relationship on or just bide my time and see how it goes?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 February 2012):
 “he’s quite immature for his age”
“it’s his business and wont’ talk about it”
“I have never met his family” (after 15 months of dating and he lives with a grandparent)
“he puts me down a lot”
“he seems jealous”
“we have broken up a few times”
“chatting to lasses who he doesn’t know and they are all round 16 17 and 18…”
Now that I’ve listed all the things you told me about him… are there any GOOD THINGS you want me to list?
LOOK at that list… would you fix this man up with your girlfriend? What a CATCH he is..
I wouldn’t carry this relationship. I wouldn’t bide my time. I’d cut bait and RUN.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 February 2012):
 You say, "...We have broken up a few times but when we do he just keeps textn me saying he loves me loads and stuff so I always go back with him..."
Next time you and he "break up" (Let's hope there IS a "next time").... let the break-up stick and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!! This guy is a loser!!!!!
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): I was in this exact same situation 2 years ago. My then boyfriend and I broke up so many time because he was sending inappropriate messages to other girls etc and always making me feel awful about myself. I was with him for 2 years and it took ALL my strength to break up with him but when I finally did it took about 3 days for him to realise I wasn't going back this time and that's when he turned nasty, calling me a b*tch and saying I had broken his heart and he wouldn't wish me on his worst enemy.It sounds like you have a supportive family around you and this will get you through. You deserve so much better and it only took me about 2 months till I thought "I was so pathetic for putting up with that!!!" Hopefully you'll realise you are worth so much more and there is a prince out there for you! x
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 February 2012):
 Be confident and rise up and float away from this peculiar man. You've never met his family? He lives with his grandmother?
My guess is that he's married and likes chatting to younger women. You are easy to get back, all it takes is some sweet talking.
Please see through this man's games. He's playing you.
I would suggest that you find a way to figure out why you are so drawn to him, AFTER you drop him, so that you don't fall for this sort of con artist again. Perhaps he's found a way to feed your fantasy of the type of man you SHOULD be dating? What is your vulnerable point? Lack of self-esteem would be the obvious starting point but why do you lack self-esteem in the first place? Did he cause that to fall away or did he take advantage of the void that was already there?
There are scads of men out there who are honest, forthright, decent and caring. Your trick is going to be to figure out how to identify them and then date them, successfully. It will require you leaving your comfort zone and trying new things but I think you are ready. You came here and asked the question.
Yes, dump this guy and get on with your new, vibrant, fulfilling life!
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (28 February 2012):
 HI
I cant tell you what to do, but if it were me, I would never have got back with him in the first place. He sounds like a right soul crusher, draining you of your spirit. Why be with someone who you will always be wondering what his up to? and whats the big secret of his past relationship? it could be something really awful which is why he dont want his family and friends around you ( maybe they have something to warn you about??) Your getting your life on track, and your confidence back, get your life back too and move on. You can do so much better .
Mandy x
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