A
female
age
30-35,
*yoish
writes:My boyfriend and I have argued about this girl he talks to before. She sent him a text a while back asking him to call her before he goes to sleep so she 'can give him something good to dream about' he never called her and when i confronted him he said she's just his friend and he doesn't respond when she says things like that. After a while of her calling frequently and texting I told him he needs to tell her to stop and speak to him like a friend or not at all. He says he did and she doesn't call as often but they still text from time to time...I was okay with this until I saw a message from the girls friend saying "you should message her shes sad" and then "she says we can come over tonight and hang out"1. we live together2. he didnt respond but what if he invites them over while im at work? should i confront him about this? I don't know what i should say right now...
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female
reader, kyoish +, writes (27 September 2012):
kyoish is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's really sweet when he isn't doing those things. He treats my daughter like his own, he takes me out whenever he can, and when i do confront him if we end up arguing he apologizes and tries to explain why he does those things. Like, the other day he said he's used to relationships where the other person didn't mind him talking that way, but what irritates me is i've told him what makes me feel threatened and what upsets me and he continues to do those things, gets upset and posts the ignorant statuses. It's not JUST because we live together. I just don't know what to do anymore. I love him, I just wish I had more confidence in myself to be able to trust him but it's hard when he talks about his past sexual relations with another girl or even 'likes' their pictures. I feel like im not pretty enough sometimes
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (27 September 2012):
What reasons could you possibly have to continue a relationship when things are obviously stressful, you can't trust him, he is constantly talking to other women and posting one-sided status updates in an attempt to turn other people against you?
If he isn't going to respect you and isn't going to respect your feelings it is time to break up with him. Living together is not a reason to stay together in a relationship if the relationship isn't working.
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A
female
reader, kyoish +, writes (27 September 2012):
kyoish is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's flirted with girls online in the past. Like really bad and after I asked him to stop he does it again. Then he posts our problems on the internet and everyone starts going against me without knowing what's really going on
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A
female
reader, kyoish +, writes (26 September 2012):
kyoish is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't really trust him and he knows this. We discussed it the other day but it always ends up unresolved.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (25 September 2012):
Have you tried calmly explaining to him that continuing to stay in contact with this woman is disrespectful to you? Have you (again calmly, you do not want this to be an argument...he will not listen if it is an argument) asked him how he would feel if you had a male friend sending you sexually suggestive texts...even if you didn't reply to them? How would he feel if you had a second male friend inviting himself and the flirty male friend over to your home?
Ask him to be honest with himself and with you. How would he feel if another man was infringing upon his relationship and disrespecting him by flirting with his girlfriend?
If he tells you it wouldn't bother him (even if he feeds you some line about trusting you), you need to seriously reconsider this relationship. The same thing goes if he doesn't immediately tell the woman to stop the innapropriate conversations or the two of them will not be able to continue being friends.
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