A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:First let me start by saying that this is my sisters page I am not a female I am a male age 30. I am interested in this young lady age 23 and I just saw something on her twitter page that bothered me. She posted "what.the.f**k. some chick just friendrequested me on facebook andthe ONLY mutual friends wehave are 3 of my exes :/"Now i know what some of you might say: thats her past, her business, etc. But i am wondering what is she doing with three of her exs on her facebook? Right away my mind starts to think crazy things but mainly "does she still she these guys to have sex?" I mean when i broke up with girlfriends, sure some i remain friends, but not to the point where i keep them on facebook. Facebook i believe is more personal than myspace. So to have your exs on facebook means that you could be meeting discreetly in my book.Should i think twice now of asking her out? I am not going to question her about that because she is not my girl. So any help would be appreciated.
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broke up, facebook, her ex, her past, my ex, myspace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 August 2010):
 You can't guard your and and find happiness at the same time. Love is like Russian Roulette.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 August 2010):
 I don't think you are looking for any advice on all this. Ask her out, don't ask her out. Do whatever you want. I repeat, what's the big deal? It's not like you are asking her to marry you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"eyeswideopen +,
writes (11 August 2010):
So don't ask her out, find
another girl who is more
acceptable to you. What's
the big deal?"
Well because I like this gal and I would hate to have it that I made a big thing out of nothing and losing out on a good thing.
I have been caught out there twice and now i do like women do-take every precaution before going to the next step.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi HoneyPie. Sorry if i was rude the last time i was just upset.
Ok well to answer your question as to why I seem critical of a girl I barely know, lets just say Ive had 2 broken heart situations and I was the victim both times. Im tired of the after effects of gettin hurt (stomach pains, insomnia, cant think, etc) that now i just look into things with my eyes wide open. Now I know why women like to take things slow and apologize in behalf of men who have taken advantage of your heart and trust.
But your situation is cool and I wouldnt have any concern if she had 8 mail school friends and dated none.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 August 2010):
Nope thanks, I'm old and happily married.
My husband don't do Facebook or any other social networking sites, he's too busy living life and working. BUT I DO have to deal with two his EX's. Since there are children involved, I can NOT dictate that he can not communicate with them. Nor would I want to. I don't think it's my job or "right" to decide whom he can talk to and whom he can't and vice versa.
If you see her being amicable with her ex's as a red flag, move on, before you even ask her out.
I HAVE a Facebook, but no ex's on it. WHY? well, I rarely use the page and I haven't bothered looking for them. I DO e-mail (maybe once a year) my first love. I still consider him a friend, doesn't mean I would EVER consider getting involved with him again. And yes, my husband knows and have no problem. I DO have about 8 guys from college on my Facebook, dated NONE of them, they were friends, still are.
I just don't see why you get so "critical" of a girl you barely know, because of WHOM she has in her friends-list.. it's Facebook for crying out loud.
/end rant..
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 August 2010):
So don't ask her out, find another girl who is more acceptable to you. What's the big deal?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioniSEX4FREE, i would just ask her out if i was the type that just dont give a f**k, but i am 30 and its time for me to take things serious and settle down. And this girl is 23, so i wouldnt to interfere in her glory days you know? I just know i couldnt handle dating a girl who has 3 of her ex's on her facebook page. I would confront her with it and its not in my place to do so, at least in the dating stage.
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A
male
reader, iSEX4FREE +, writes (8 August 2010):
I Say might as well ask her out... whats the worst that can happen... your not John Tucker or anything... The world is too small for you to limit your choices.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDazedConfused the feeling is mutual. I wouldnt ask you out with your attitude. I thought i can get civil answers but what i am getting is women defending women. Women are the worst in jealousy and paranoid. Check you out! Like if you dont be going through your dudes cell phone the minute he leaves it somewhere and he steps away. You find no text messages so right away you accuse him of deleting all his messages because they were female. Or notice that the passenger seat in his car is not how you left it; so right away you accuse him of having another girl.
But i am paranoid and wacko because she got 3 exs on her facebook and i find it conspicuous? gimme a break.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDazedConfused I wouldnt ask you out and neither would a guy in his right mind. I thought i can get civil answers but what i am getting is women defending women. Women are the worst in jealousy and paranoid. Check all of you out! Like if you dont be going through your dudes cell phone the minute he leaves it somewhere and he steps away. You find no text messages so right away you accuse him of deleting all his messages because they were female. Or notice the passenger seat in his car is not how you left it so right away you accuse him of having another girl.
But i am paranoid and wacko because she got 3 exs on her facebook and i find it conspicuous? gimme a break.
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A
female
reader, DazedConfused  +, writes (6 August 2010):
I think its best to forget about this girl. I wouldnt want you asking me out with that attitude.
Damn I speak to lots of guys including exs. And Im not meeting any for sex.
You sound wayyyy paranoid. and quite frankly a little scary!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI meant Honey Pie on my last note not eyeswideopen
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEyeswideopen, same scenario. If you find out that the man youve been considering to date has three of his exs on his facebook, you'll have no problem with it? Are you single? Maybe we should meet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have issues because I dont like to waste time. If you have no problem finding out that your man has three of his exs on his Facebook page, then your man is the luckiest guy in the world.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 August 2010):
I agree 100% with Eyeswideopen.
Chill. Some people end relationships amicable and stay in touch. Some only through Facebook and not outside the net.
I think you are totally OVER analyzing this poor chick.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 August 2010):
Wowie zowie, you already have issues and you haven't even ask her out yet! Yeah you should think twice about asking her out, maybe even asking anybody out. Chill buddy. I hate Facebook.
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