A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My live-in partner caught me watching porn and wacking off. She ofcourse pretended as though she didn't see anything.I don't like her trying to sneak up on me and it ticks me off because she's never allowed me to have sex with her for years now.First it was because of her bacterial imbalance/infection that she's been battling for years. She then made me take medication to eradicate it from my end which was humiliating. After that, she still didn't want to make love to me.Well I am a man and I have needs. Lucky her, I feel, that I didn't take my frustrations on other women which I could easily do.I can't make of this. Should I feel embarrassed or awkward that I masturbate over porn instead of cheating with another woman? Is it her fault that I am this?I hate myself for going through internet porn and relieving myself secretly but she is not meeting my needs!
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 Hi,
I wonder if you are the partner of the other poster below who is talking about finding her boyfriend masturbating.
The stories sound the same.
If you are ( and even if you aren't ) what you two guys need to do is communicate with each other. It is so apparent from these posts that you have lost the ability to talk to each other about what is concerning. The hiding of the porn and sneaking behind each other's back is a classic example.
Your partner had medical problems before yet you seem to be negative towards her because it meant you had to take medication as well. Were you supportive of her during this period or were you resentful over the fact that you were affected as well?
I think your sex problems lie in this breakdown in communication, it is hard to be intimate with a live in partner if you can't communicate with each other as you need that emotional closeness in the relationship to enjoy sex together.
So sit down and discuss your problems in a mature way. Or ask her to write down a list of what is on her mind and you can do the same then sit down and try and work out what you both should expect of each other in this relationship.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 Secretly is such a loose word.heres the diabetic version ie: not sugar coated.Whats the Real reason you both ain't bumping uglies?sounds like theres alot more too this playing hide the sausage. the only true way you will find out is by simply talking to her. finding out what the Real reason is.Are you both happy? are you happy with the realtionship? Yousex life in your relationship seems to be as good as your trust for each other.and is it her fault you look at porn?... come on.. gimmie a break. you have a penis having from your legs. its his fault not hers.
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A
female
reader, speedcat +, writes (28 February 2008):
She dont want you .....but yet gets mad when you watch porn? what does she expect you to do? You have needs,,,,you should not AT ALL feel bad or ashamed! No one goes years without sex because of a bacterial infection, maybe a week but not years, sounds like an excuse! Shame on her, not you!
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