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female
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*dge
writes: Allow me to introduce to you the thought that is way and heavy on my mindI am married to a guy who works and drinks a lot and his older brother is married and his wife isn't doing so well, health wise. My husband's brother stops for a visit here and there spontaneously; to get out for awhile and chill out with his younger brother and sometimes I hang out along with the guys. I find myself attracted to my older brother in law and I can not get him out of my mind.Yes, sexually and I know that is just wrong. I have this thought that I am thinking that he might be feeling or thinking that very same way as I am thinking of him; but I can not be too sure. For a few examples, that occurred, Brother in law was standing in the garage and leans up against my hubby's race car and hubby gestures his brother not to; granted there were stackable chairs in the garage to take one for sitting...his brother joined me on the tailgate of my truck instead. As the conversation with the group of others surrounded us and escalated I would whisper to brother in law about the others and he would whisper back to me. So, yes we were whispering to each other about others that were present. Then we jumped into their conversation and we both tried to make sense to the groups conversation and then I noticed that brother in law was hearing me and adding my words again to the groups attention, and then brother in law would look at me for approval and ask me if he was right? Of course, I would reply and smiled at him, knowing that was what I just said. I know that he stole my words, but I didn't care. Then in my head I am thinking, is brother in law just making these gestures to look at me smiling; which I find myself smiling a lot when he is near, just as so? The group was talking about sex and relationships and the brother in law announces that he may as well be a born again virgin, and that he isn't even attracted to his wife anymore. Pretty much almost forgotten what to do when it comes down to having sex; which he doubts will ever happen at his age, he's in his late 40's. I smiled and then told him that might still happen, for he is an attractive man, and he really is HOT even at his age! I didn't tell him that he was HOT, or maybe I should have; I just didn't feel right to tell him he was HOT in front of the group. Another day came around as hubby went out and brother in law stopped by to visit unexpectedly. I answered the door and welcomed him inside, to offer him a drink and he and I just talked for over an hour. Yes at the same time I was playing with my hair, smiling and naughty thoughts kept entering into my head. He was talking about how he wants to move out of state and that there is nothing for him here; I immediately told him that I would miss him a lot when he's gone.. he just looked at me and asked me if I would ever move out of state. I told him about how my parents were still around and that once they aren't I would consider it and maybe get a breast enlargement, ya know do everything that I wanted to do as if I won the lottery or something. He smiled and laughed, and I actually caught him looking at my breasts, which were covered. Before he left, he stood up and gestured to give me a big hug and while he embraced me into his arms and held me tight, he groaned with pleasure; as I slipped away slowly from him I immediately looked up at him , I wanted to kiss him or wanted him to kiss me passionately at that heated moment and then he broke the mood and acted sort of nervous to move on. Later that same day, he met up with my hubby and they came back together. I opened the door to see for myself , as brother in law got out of the van he smiled at me and they all went back to the garage. I came out of course and used the "what's for dinner later?" excuse to be invited to stay out and mingle. Normally, brother in law would use the inside bathroom to take a whizz, and then while I was out there, he too would whizz outside; Hmm...does he want me to see his privates by chance? He had seen my hubby whizz outside and well that is my hubby; I always see his privates. Maybe he just changed his mind out of pure convenience. I wanted to walk by and chance it to get a reaction and of course to see what I was anticipating into my fantasies. I could and smile and hope that brother in law knows that I can enjoy what I see, maybe if I lick my lips or rub myself as I glance at that chance when I see him next time take a whizz outside. Of course without anyone else catching on to what I was trying to gamble here, especially, hubby. So, here I am thinking next time, while hubby will be working a full day, and I have a hunch that his brother will pop a visit. What should I do? Leave well enough alone or jump at the chance....to find out if I get rejected or accepted. Then with the naughtiness in mind, How do I find out, do I rub his back while he's holding me in a hug? grab his butt? Lick his neck? Then tell him that I was having a moment and kind of acting on my fantasy. I will then know the truth to see how he would react to a much more direct innuendo rather than the guessing game. Either way, I would accept him, and I am gambling with the fact that I am married to his brother which means I will see him here and there and I do know that he did tell my hubby that he thought that I was HOT. Hubby told me that and told me that his brother told him that he was the lucky one. What makes me skeptical is that I would hate to ruin a good thing with my brother in law, by a sexual desire that creeps up on me when my hubby is not home.and that sucks. Should I wait for his move, or what if he never makes that move because of the obvious reasons and I will never know, if he has been thinking about me the same way. or is this just silly and wrong of me? I did tell my brother in law that I can not have any children and that doesn't bother me much anymore, my brother in law seemed surprised and kind of felt bad, but in the same sense was he thinking what I was hoping? that he would someday consider fulfilling what my fantasy would be. I haven't really done anything, just trying to and then not, because I know this is family and I am just married to his younger brother. If you have just read this please leave your detailed message, comments or expressions to this personal situation, that I just cannot reveal to anyone that I know, so that is why I figured that I would post this for everyone else to view and comment on. The sister in law
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breasts, gambling, move on, sister in law Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Deeply Depressed  +, writes (6 May 2017):
I came across your post while searching for advice for my self, since I am in a similar situation. Your feelings are not strange to me. I am strongly attracted to my sister in-law and would want to do something naughty with her. I am 38 and she's 22. She is quite intelligent and descent and respects me a lot. Can I say neater than my wife. I'm not too sure if she's on the same emotional page with me even though we spends exciting time chatting on social media and discussing at the lounge when she visits for the weekend. I enjoy talking with her more than her sister cos she appears to be somewhat more respectful, friendly and understands situations easily. I love her sister, 33, and would not want to hurt her. Since this is eating me up in the inside, I have decided to talk it over with my SIL (Cant anticipate her reaction though). As we all know my role is to protect her and not harm her in this way but since I am attracted to her strongly then I would inform her to assist me make this not happen. May be by not engaging in close one to one talk till this fades off or something. If however her response shows she was interested then I might have no resistance any longer but to get it done. On the contrary if she rejects, then I will still be the good boy who doesn't really wanted the evil thing and is seeking help. It may please you to know also that I am religious and that has been my major obstacle.
A
female
reader, happilysad  +, writes (18 July 2010):
Dear edge.
I understand how tormented you must feel but you are strong because you have not just jumped into having sex with b.I.l. You just get to see the funnier, sensitive,maybe caring side of b.I.l whereas hubbys working, drinking etc is leaving no time for you.I feel you just want that love and attention from hubby, whicg is perfectly natural, and cos he doesn't see that right now, you get frustated and feel down - which normal feeling wife wouldn't?
Maybe that's why you're you are transferring these feelings onto your b.I.l cos in a way you feel safe with him because he is your hubbys brother. I don't think you want to sleep with him - and if you do - just think what does that make him. He has a wife with problems, whom he doesn't fancy or sleep with anymore - well he should sort that out first - what if that was you - would he treat you like that too? Try going somewhere for a night or a holiday - change of scenery and tell hubby how you feel about how your relationships going. Ask him what he feels and just listen - Don't interrupt - just let him talk and encourage him if he says he's got no problems - most men have not been encouraged to acknowledge they have feelings. You will then know what to do. With love and light to us all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): I too have a crush on my younger brother-in-law.I think he knows and there is definitley an attraction. Being in the same boat i know how hard it is, being around him alot is just pure hell. I have children though. I think looking at what the outcomes could be and knowing alot of people will get hurt if I act on my emotions I'm trying my utmost not to do anything.I sometimes find myself wondering what it will feel like being close to him or making love......i guess i'll just have to wonder forever.
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female
reader, alwaystuck85  +, writes (11 December 2007):
well i know what your going through i've been in love with two men for 6 years now amd they're brothers i married one and i've always kept my feelings for my b.i.l and he has for me but we both agreed not to hurt his brother so its really hard when your stuck you just pick your choice and pray that was the right one. I did and i'm happy with him but i know i will always love my brother in law. good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2006): Hi I just wanted to say that you are not alone. I am engaged to a wonderful guy whom I love alot and am incredibly attracted to his brother. I can't help it. I would never do anything about this attraction but I know what you are going through because my future brother in law is HOT!!! If you are prepared to lose everything than go for it but if not I don't think its worth it. Maybe in another life... that's what I keep thinking.Good Luck.
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female
reader, Edge +, writes (1 July 2006):
Edge is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for remarks, comments and suggestive advice, I appreciate you taking the time to read and follow up; Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2006): Why are you asking such a stupid and obviously dumbfounded question? As WillyWombat had said, leave the husband before you go screw other guys.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): I too am in a situation with my sister-in-law. (Cousin brother's wife)We are both committed to our marriages and yet we are sexually attracted to each other. So far nothing has transpired except of some smooch and kisses and we hope to keep it that way. Unusual circumstances, i guess. I say to you, always protect your marriage first no matter what. take care good luck.
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (25 June 2006):
 You are just making excuse for your potential behaviour. Leave your hubby, THEN look to start a new relationship. Do not use the prospect of this relationship with your BIL to get out of something which is making you unhappy.
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A
female
reader, carebear +, writes (24 June 2006):
 hi
have just read your post and have got to agree with w/w you are in a marrage that's not making you happy as he is either working or drinking so he is not giving you the attention you want you sound quite close to you b.i.l. and discussing sex is quite normal now adays in group situations but it could be jokingly aswell. if you are that unhappy leave your hubby stay single for a while then you might find out what the b.i.l feel for you if anything but atleast you will know also i got the impression while reading your post that the bil might take advantage of you as he has said he is not attracted to his wife and may just be looking for a bit of fun as he wouldnot leave his wife due to her health prob. all told it a bad idea to get together with bil as he might just use you (want to keep it a secret) and it would cause too much upset for other family members anyway you might meet another guy if you leave hubby and he will be the one. how long have you been married?
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A
female
reader, Edge +, writes (19 June 2006):
Edge is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTrue, I asked for advice and got critized and judged by angry women who probably never experienced or went through my personal situation, themselves!I gather, things will either heat up or not, I will have live through it, to find out.Allow me to correct you, since those of you know who you are: I can not have any children, EVER; I never said that I had any or can have any more, and I work a full time job and oh once more thing, poor hubby is usually at the bar if he's not working. I had already tried to leave him for that and my fault I suppose for giving him another chance to try to work things out.Yes, I am a woman in distress and not realizing that a lover is looking for me, maybe and it just happens to be my BIL or maybe not. I wasn't looking for an affair,just going about my own life and started realizing these little things.Maybe I need a Man's point of view, because deep down we all know, that men and women think differently.I would like to THANK A Tormented Soul, bikiniilove_xX + and Hopeful + for their input. I will take what you have responded, into consideration, if I not already done so.I am still hoping for others to respond to give me more on what to look out for and even if this question sounds silly then I suppose all of these questions are just horriffic to you. I am not asking for permission here, I am asking for advice of what would you do and how do you believe this BIL is thinking or behaving, I need a clue, as if you would be in my shoes.Don't judge me, for the asking, isn't this why this board is available?
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female
reader, bikiniilove_xX +, writes (19 June 2006):
noo! it will start so much family and friend drama. go for other guys that arent in the same family as you!
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female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (19 June 2006):
 I think that you before you do anything is sort out your relationship with your husband.
If things are not good between the two of you, then you should either talk to him and try and sort it out or leave him. If you are not happy, having an affair with anyone, let alone your brother in law, is not going to make you happy. You will still be married to your husband.
Put the fantasies on the shelf and sort out your current relationship. If he drinks too much, then approach him and try and solve it. If he is at work too much, find some sort of a compromise with him. If you simply don't love him anymore, perhaps you should leave.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2006): Having a fancy for someone is one thing acting on that is another. It is very easy to get charmed by things ....and then these charms usually fades and might turn out to be something really horrible. I totally agree with willywomabat here.....but then again choice is yours.
Have more dignity for yourself and the poor hubby who works all day...instead of trying on brother in law why don't u get a job and get busy.
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (18 June 2006):
I read your letter and I see a woman who is dreadfully disapointed in her own life and wants what somebody else has got, along with some excitment and fun. You need to Back Off. You would destroy two marriages and why would you want to do that?
He is looking for nothing from you that he doesn't already get. I mean how can you think that somebody taking a leak in a downstairs loo means he wants you to see his nether regions? Did you not read your letter back to yourself and question just how *silly* it sounds? That he looked *surprised* cos you said you cannot have more children - how else should he look? He sits next to you in the garage.....you are his sister in law for chrissake.
Leave well alone.
If you don't, don't start whinging on here when he has rejected you for making a pass at him AND telling your hubby about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2006): First of all I have posted a similar message in regards to my sister in law. I would say simply that you should make your move towards him because it sounds like he wants what you do. I am madly in love with my own sister in law but I don't know if she feels that way for me. I don't think she does, so I have never made a move even though I have loved her for 14 years. If I knew that she felt the same way I do I would abandon everything in my life for her. My love for her is that strong! My wife has never made me feel like her sister makes me feel, and though I know it would hurt her I still cannot change how I feel. My sister in law is the only woman I have ever loved and ever will love. I don't know if your brother in law feels the same way I do, but if I were him and you were my sister in law then it would go exactly like you want! From: A Tormented Soul
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