A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My second cousin and I always been close. We are the same age (I am six months older). When we were teenagers, we did experiment with each other sexually. But that never impacted our relationship in a negative way. We always hung out on the weekend (fishing, hunting, tent camping, est.).We went to a mutual friend's wedding out of state and decided to share a room. After the wedding, we had a few drinks at the wedding reception. We ended up having sex that night in the hotel room. That was a little over one months ago. She called me up and explained to me that she is pregnant and I am the only guy she slept with in over two years (her ex-boyfriend). She is planning on keeping the baby and I want to be part of the child's life. We talked about our relationship and there is no bad feelings between us about what happened The only thing we are concerned about is 1) How do we tell our families that she is pregnant and that I am the father?2) We don't have the same last name, so should we tell the doctor that we are second cousins?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 September 2019):
 I agree, why not just marry her?
The family will either accept it or not. But the child is there, and needs to both of you.
I don't think the family will be ALL that surprised if you two were sneaking around when younger. You might think you were all secretive about it, but I think someone them knew anyways.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2019): First cousin marriage is legal in 46 states and those marriages are recognized by the other four states that’s because the science says as first cousins those people are genetically different enough that they pose no health risk to potential children.You and your second cousin are so genetically dissimilar that you may as well be random strangers. Unless you are from some insular religious sect like Hasidic Jews you stand almost no chance of passing on any inherited conditions. Of course the fact that you are cousins even distant cousins Is going to create backlash from ignorant and narrow minded people. Since you’re going to be in this kids life it’s best to tell the family headon. Mom, Dad Grand ma etc “Jane is pregnant, I’m the fatherland we’re keeping the baby.” Anyone who doesn’t like it doesn’t matter.Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2019): I’m married to my first cousin and have a beautiful smart kid. There is nothing wrong with it. I was going to do some tests before marriage and my doctor advised that if we don’t have any genetic issues in the family it’s not even necessary. Why not marrying her?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2019): Do you know that first causin marriages are allowed in the Muslim faith and their are millions and millions of such marriages. I believe though I am not sure that such marriages are allowed in the Jewish faith too.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 September 2019):
 If you are concerned about the family relationship then by all means discuss it with your doctor, who will allay any fears you may have. The increased risk of there being problems with the baby is only marginal.
As for telling your families, you know them, use the best words they will understand that says "XXXX is pregnant and I am the father, and thrilled with the news"
My best wishes to you all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2019): Look there's a slightly increased risk of disability due to your relationship. But it's a bit late to worry about that now so I don't see any point in telling the doctor if you really don't want to. It's not like there's anything she can do about it.
As for your families, you know how to tell them. With words. You want to know if there's a way to tell them that means they definitely won't think it's weird/gross/wrong or whatever it is you're afraid they'll think. There isn't. You can't control their reaction. But I'd tell them asap so they have time to get used to it.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (3 September 2019):
 Try not let the small mindedness of others be of your concern. I think people blur the lines when hearing the word 'cousin' and immediately jump to the judgemental 'ew' factor. There is enough degree of separation being second cousins to be excited by the fact that your guys are going to be parents. Was it not Albert Einstein who married his first cousin? Probably a dumb move for such an intelligent man but you know where Im going with my point :) As for the doctor, thats really up to you. I dont think the risk is any greater than with any other associated with pregnancy. Any reason why you dont wish to marry her may I ask? Any hoo..congratulations to you both
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