A
female
age
36-40,
*orriedwifey
writes:My husband and I have been together since high school and we have a great relationship all Expect for one thing. Our sex drives are not at the same level. I'm not worried he is getting it any where else or anything like that. I know he loves me and loves having sex with me I just think that he a lot of his plate.I have always had a high sex drive. In high school I started masterbating daily. We have sex several times a week (5-6) but I still want more. He gets upset thinking he isn't satisfying me but he does. I have no problem reaching climax when I'm with him and when I masterbate I think of him. I'm worried that my high sex drive is pushing us apart. I know the simple answer is to stop masterbating since IT upsets him but I physically can't. I've tried but it makes my body uncomfortable to the point I can't get other task done until I release that tension. How can I explain to him that he is everything I want but my body just needs sex more often or is there anything I can do to help lower my sex drive
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (21 October 2015):
 Uhm, lowering your sex drive. Go on birth control if you haven't already. Have babies. There's nothing more libido killing thAn taking care of children. Just kidding. Go to the gym instead. Become a vegetarian. You still need to research and test out which foods to add more and which ones to avoid. Veggies like celery and chive increase my libido instantly.
He should not be upset with you masturbating. And if you are, you don't have to tell him.
You are blessed to be so healthy. You should not make your sex drive a problem. I should say that your husband Is pretty normal too. In Tao philosophy they teach man to save their vital juice so having sex everyday depletes them.
If my sex drive is higher than my partner, I think I will just keep that fact from him. Life is stressful enough, and to know that your wife may not be satisfied is a huge blow, and emasulating.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (21 October 2015):
I would normally try to encourage you to talk and meet each other halfway, but 5-6 times a week? That’s a lot for any couple as it is. His sex drive is high, yours is very high. IF the masturbating isn’t interfering with other aspects of your life, I don’t see why you have to stop it if you’re still up for sex 5-6 times a week as well. What interests me is why he’s upset about it? Does he feel excluded? Does he confuse your physical needs with some kind of lack of satisfaction with his performance in the bedroom? Is there perhaps the possibility for intimacy that involves him more often even if it doesn’t lead to sex, for example having foreplay together?
I think the answer to this is communication: you explaining your need to masturbate and agreeing how you can both stay satisfied with this difference in sex drive. And one last thing: tell him how good the sex is when you do have it together. If he’s going to listen, he’ll need lots of reassurance. But really, if he’s everything you want, then there’s no roundabout way to tell him that. Tell him exactly that.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (21 October 2015):
Your sex drive may not be the problem.
Lots of couple end up where you are after being together for a long time....why??? The chase is done...or fading.
We guys love to chase women...and if you don't give us yourself to chase, we slowly start to feel less interested in sex.
The key to sex is not the actual act of sex...it's HOW you get to the sex. What are you doing before you get to the bedroom?? See, most couples wait until they are in bed to make a move. Or they wait until the kids are gone and they are home alone. But what happens between the time you wake up and the time you get back to bed?? That is the key factor. It's not just about a text to say "I want you"...Men and women need that mental stimulation too.
You call him at work and say "Hi...um...I am so wet, what am I going to do?" His brain has just kicked into overdrive on how to fix your problem. You let him know ALL DAY that you are in the mood and oh you wish you had some way to fix this need of yours. When bed time comes....you are in trouble...His sexual needs have been building all day, and guess who is in a chasing mood :)))
So you are turned on by all the things you have been saying to him, he is turn on by all the mental images...oh boy.
Texting your mood sucks...A woman's voice in need...RRRRRR!!! :))))
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