A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Got a friend and I can't decide whether I'm being friend zoned or pushed to make a move. I playfully asked if she would ever consider going out with someone 'like' me. This was her response... 'Not gonna lie, there has been a few times where I've thought damn I need a boyfriend like * my name * haha. Some of the things you say are like... everything I would want. I think you're a hard gem to find! Never met or spoken to a guy like you before... ever. So I feel super lucky to have you close to me. Dating you personally... it may have crossed my mind once or twice but... I have no intension of trying to swoop you off your feet with my amazingness ;D xD'. I replied saying 'I guess I've thought about it too. It's interesting to imagine what it would be like, I always feel like showing you how caring boys can be :). Sorry for bringing that up haha'. She replies... 'no need to say sorry haha it was interesting to see your response. I meant what I said'. Is this a friend telling me I'm a nice guy and that she values my friendship or that she wants me to make a move? I appreciate when you don't know the dynamic it's hard to say but I would appreciate any help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2020): I totally agree with Code Warrior. My friend, you would have had a real chance, with this lady, but your approach to her just sucks! You to her that you want to show her, how nice boys can be? Is your age group actually 26 to 29 years of age? Why not how good a man can treat a lady? No grown woman wants to date a man who has the confidence of a little boy. No doubt that this woman loves you. Your mom loves you too! Neither of those women want to date you though,my Friend. This is too bad, because if you had stepped up with the attitude of a confident young man, with all of the wonderful attributes she speaks, of you, she would have fallen into your arms! Friend, I wish that it could have worked out, that way for you, but you and she will remain good friends! Best wishes for you both!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2020): It's the inevitable question that comes-up between men and women who are single, but long-time close-friends. It may cross your mind, you're curious what it's like dating, imagine what their sex-face looks like; but you snap out of it! Commonsense always suggests that you let things stay as they are. Things usually get awkward between long-time friends.
This comeback is a very polite way of keeping the friendship-barrier sturdy and in-place:
"Dating you personally... it may have crossed my mind once or twice but... I have no intension of trying to swoop you off your feet with my amazingness ;D xD'."
A lovely "thanks, but no-thanks!" gift-wrapped in humor, prefaced by a compliment; with a pretty friendship-bow on top!
Loose translation: "It crossed my mind a coupla-times; but...nah!"
She loves you baby, but not that way!
Friend-zoning implies you're somewhat pushed to the sidelines, but a lil'-bit rejected. She is happy to have you close. That's a real friend! Romance is out of the question.
I guess this opinion makes it unanimous!
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (10 March 2020):
Asking her if she would consider going out with someone like you makes you look weak and frightened. So stop acting like a 15 year old. Ask her out and make sure you are clear that you are asking for a date not a friend hanging out together. You will then have your answer.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (10 March 2020):
 I agree with honeypie.
If she was going to come clean that was her golden opportunity right there. It would have been ‘I want to date someone LIKE you’ it would have been ‘I’d like to date YOU’
Forget about this one man.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 March 2020):
 She pretty much told you no.
"Dating you personally... it may have crossed my mind once or twice but... I have no intension of trying to swoop you off your feet with my amazingness".
That is her saying no.
This is also her saying, NOT YOU.
"I need a boyfriend like * my name * " She said "like you" not you. If you read her words carefully.
I think IF she was truly interested in DATING you, she would have come right out and said it. Instead of telling you NO straight up, she skirted the subject in a way where she didn't have to reject you and then having to explain why.
"Is this a friend telling me I'm a nice guy and that she values my friendship?" Yes. It's a girl who DOES like you but but not to the extend of dating you. Which is why she thought about it and did nothing.
Sorry. That is how I read it.
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