Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Silius Sodimus  +, writes (4 February 2013):
Was she always like this? If she was you shouldn't have married her. Either way tell her to pull her head out of the sand. Getting a house is usually a two man/woman job if your paying bills as well then thats even worse. If she's done this in the past she'll do it again, better to get your own place as a single person than put in the hard yards get a house and then have to split it with the b****. Stand your ground or get rid of her.
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female
reader, CANDY61  +, writes (2 February 2013):
Tell her you are sick and tire of having to listen to her BS because she doesn't care if you're the only one paying all the bills, she just want what she want and don't care how you get it, tell her you're moving out and she can go gold digging or find a sugar daddy. once she get the house he just might dump you and have you paying the mortgage. She is very inconsiderate.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): Then what you have is not a true marriage, but rather a one-sided arrangement where one person is mooching off the other using the law and society's approval of it.
Tell her that since you're married, both of you share equally the responsibilities. So she needs to do her part.
if she won't, then say that there will be no house because there just isn't enough money. So she can either accept not having a new house, or she can change the situation by getting a job to help pay for the things SHE wants.
If she refuses to earn money to help pay for the things SHE wants, then she darn well better be doing ALL the housework and supporting YOU like not making ANY demands on you.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 February 2013):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/married-four-years-and-she-does-not-want.html
Maybe it's time to end the marriage?
Is there some problem with telling her that you cannot buy a house? Do you find it difficult to communicate with her?
There are marriage counselors who may be able to help. I'd advise finding one but I would first line up a divorce attorney to ensure that your assets are covered.
Good luck!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 February 2013):
 ask her how it feels to want.....
seriously... have you told her "we can't afford it?"
what does she say?
I mean seriously.. just because she wants it does not means he gets it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): Here is a old saying my grandmother told me as a child. If you want something you have to WORK for it. That's all you have to say. When she nags you about it again and she will. Say that nd nothing further. Click on the TV.
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female
reader, franny1297  +, writes (1 February 2013):
 Striaght up tell her that you will not get the house if she doesn't do her part, if you do end up paying it all, then warn her that you will not spend a penny on her and that she will do the house work. if this doesn't happen then warn her again that you will sell the house again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): Is there a reason why she can't work if there isn't then i wouldn't
because all the payments will be in your name so any repayments down to you. And she has got abit of a nerve to ask it if hshes not putting her hand in so i wouldn't if i was you.
Hope this helps.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 February 2013):
She treats you like an ATM machine because you let her. She may have you thinking if you don't that she'll find someone else who will, but that's probably bs. If she leaves you she'd have no choice but to get a job, and probably a bad one.
At least with you she can work a little but have someone else to help out and combine income to get a house.
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (1 February 2013):
 Yep. That pretty much sums it up. Do not explain anything and don't get into any log discussions. Ask her what steps she's taking to make this dream become a reality. Let her do the defending and explaining.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): Then she don't get the house Greg, simple as that.
I mean I'm sure you'd love someone to buy you a Ferrari, but that ain't gonna happen either is it?
"Babe, honey cakes, sugar buns, I can't afford to buy a house on my own, if you want a house you have to help. End of discussion."
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