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My Landlord's Children Are Rude To Me - How To Deal With This?

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Question - (10 May 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 May 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been living as a lodger for the past couple of months. I knew the landlord prior to moving in as I rented from him before.

It's a good place but two of his kids (who are about 10 I think) are very rude to me and I can continually loudly overhear them saying stuff about me. I don't think speaking to them directly about it would do much good but idk if I should speak to my landlord or his wife. I am a decent tenant, always pay my rent on time, and their children sometimes do stuff like play the piano or blow the trumpet really early in the morning before school which a lot of lodgers would not be OK with. I have also done stuff like stay in when one of the kids wants to stay home and their mum wants to go out with the other kids.

When I first moved in I would say hi to the kids out of politeness and they wouldn't reply back, which isnt a big deal and I figured maybe it was the cultural difference. I stopped doing that and I mostly do my own thing (I only even use the kitchen, bathroom and my room so its not like I'm infringing on their space). I bought the family an Easter egg to be nice and gave it to their mum right in front of the kids, not one of the kids said thank you, again not too big a deal.

But if I'm in the bathroom, for example, and one of them wants to use it, they often just bang on the door loudly, and if I say something like "Hang on a second!" they don't listen but just keep on banging. If they don't get their way they go downstairs and I can hear them complaining to their mum and mentioning my name, but Idk what she tells them as it's in a foreign language. I often hear them banging on the door when each other is using the bathroom but surely at that age they should know not to do that to strangers?? I don't take a really long time in there. I was about to go into the bathroom once when one of them was walking towards it to, so to be polite I stopped and gestured towards it and asked if she wanted to use it. She didn't even reply just stared at me :lolwut:

I was also in the bathroom washing my face a few nights ago (not that late, about 10pm) and one of the kids started banging on the wall from their bedroom really loudly. I was so fed up I just ignored it and they stopped after a bit. But, last night, I heard them both going upstairs and they were like, "YAY! (my name) isn't in the bathroom" very loudly. They also have a friend round today (I think) and I just overheard them talking about going into my room and asking "is (my name) out?" I think I heard them say some other stuff about me too but I was too angry to try to overhear.

I get on OK with the landlord and his wife but I'm not sure if I should mention it to them or not or even just find a new place without doing so, I cant be in all the time if the kids are going to do stupid stuff like go into my room. I am definitely not one of those person who thinks children should be seen and not heard but they seem to be spoiled. Also, they are polite to my face but because the family aren't English sometimes I get the impression everyone is talking about me when I'm in the kitchen or something from the "looks" I'm getting while hearing them talk in their own language. I'm not paranoid but you can tell when this happens a lot and from hearing your name mentioned.

Help! What to do??

View related questions: moved in

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (11 May 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntHave to agree, find a place and move out. Pain in the bum but really it is them against you. In the mean time I would learn a few choice words in their spoken tongue and give them an Au Revior to remember. Horrible little critters

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2016):

There is not much you can say or do except to find another place to live.

Sadly, it is you who is the subordinate in this situation. They are certainly treating you this way.

But you know as well as we do that you deserve more, better. And to be respected.

Find yourself a new and better place. Know that you are worth it. And be happy.

Life is too short to live in a dump and around people who bring you down.

Rid youself of this hell hole and these sub standard people.

Move out and move on.

I would not say a word. Just find your new castle and move out.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (10 May 2016):

Ciar agony auntOnce again, I have to agree with Honeypie.

I would definitely NOT say anything until you've already found another place, signed on the dotted line and secured your valuables.

Their children are extremely rude, and frankly so are the parents if they fail to do anything about it. I assume they rent out part of their home because they need the money. Perhaps when they see that their obnoxious children are costing them tenants they might feel inclined to raise them better.

I don't know if your financial situation allows you to rent a safe deposit box at your local bank, but I strongly suggest you look into it. That way you could keep important, official documents or digitally saved photos and the like, safe regardless of where you live.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 May 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI would look for another place to live, another room-mate/bedsit choice. Talk to your landlord and see if he has something else, since you know him. If he asks why, explain that you feel unwelcome.

Kids are kids. Thought 10 year old should know better. The kids are rude, the MOM is aware, but she doesn't care.

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