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My husband is selfish, ... or maybe it is me?

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Question - (25 April 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My husband is a good man he works hard and takes care of me and our daughter. He is a good person but, sometimes he is just selfish or maybe it's me.

All we ever do is go accross the street and hang out with his friends and I watch him play computer games. I take care of our daughter full time and he works and goes to school.

We have sex maybe once a month. He always rejects me. But if I leave the house with our daughter he always looks at porn. So I come home and I see the history has been wiped and he is napping I know. I'm not stupid and I don't have a real problem with porn I just am tired of never having sex.

I know it is not healthy for him to ignore the fact I have needs. I gained a lot of weight with our daughter she is now one year old. I have finally lost all the weight but he still doesn't want me.

I feel like i'm ruined. I'm very depressed. He never makes me feel good about myself but is the problem him or me. Am I just really depressed?

View related questions: depressed, porn, video games

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010):

Hey lady,

i am married and am looking at porn since lot before i was married. and to tell you truth 99 % of men would be the same.

so forget the porn issue at all. it is no issue. it help me turn on and then go to my wife often. and even if it does not, it is all fine..

now coming to once is month thing, my feeling is that it is common problem after advent of internt lap top x box TV among couples. but still once in a week is most common frequency among married couples.

i do not advise to any one like others do .. it is your right, he must do it, or go ahead and confront him and be direct et cetc.. it does not help most often. it will make it worse.

my advice will be play some hints and be little lovely and bubbly and create a healthy and relax environment in home and his frequency will be more.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (25 April 2010):

rcn agony auntYou're not being selfish at all. I really don't know how porn can take the place of physically having sex. It's a strange concept, but it happens. Be direct with him. Tell him that you know what he's doing, and you wanna know why he's choosing that over choosing being with you. Something is definitely off balance there, and needs to change. When you're computer is getting more sexual attention from your husband that you are, that'd be as bad as "I know you wanted beer, but I thought we'd watch a movie about beer instead." So, it's time to ask him why you're being ignored.

I hope this helps.

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