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My girlfriend wont have sex or go anywhere near my "man parts" when she's on her period.

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Question - (7 December 2012) 15 Answers - (Newest, 11 December 2012)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is it wrong for me to be extremely frustrated at the fact that my girlfriend won't go anyone near my genitals when she's on her period? We can be hooking up and it will get intense and she'll stop us and tell me she "doesn't want to get too horny, it's not fair to me". This is driving me crazy seeing as we would have sex quite often when she's not on her period.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012):

Really dude???? Is this relationship all about you and your sexual appetite? Show some respect and concideration for your lady. She keeps you happy all week long, and she is even willing to show some compassion for your feelings and desires when she's menstrating and you have to speak with your "Id"? It is not a pleasant thing to be on the rag for many women and very uncomfortable and painful as well. Why not get kicked in the nuts really hard and then see if you feel like performing while your all cramped up and the pain is throbbing or would you want her to have a little less fustrations for your feelings? Hmmmmmm, no joke try it, every month for a couple days straight see if you can get the picture. Midol doesn't always curb.

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A female reader, littlequinn United States +, writes (8 December 2012):

I wish men had period, so they'd know exactly how we feel! Sorry but I think you're so selffish, you just want know satisfy your sex desire, but you don't care how your girl feesl. Do you know that women-us feel very tired when we're on period, and you, you just want your girl to serve you! Do you truly love her? What happend to your hands?

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A female reader, EbonyBlossom United Kingdom +, writes (7 December 2012):

EbonyBlossom agony auntIf she is not comfortable with having sex on her period then you cant make her. And I can see where shes coming from if she thinks its unfair that you get pleasure and she doesnt. Why not make a compromise where you give her pleasure without expecting any Back just before or after her period, then youll be equal if she does the same for you when shes on.

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A female reader, PeanutButter United States +, writes (7 December 2012):

PeanutButter agony auntMany women really do not like to do the deed, so to speak, while they are on a period because it is a lot more intense, sticky and uncomfortable than just a drop of blood here or there - it can be emotionally draining, physically uncomfortable and sometimes even a little embarrassing!

If you are having sex regularly then I wouldn't worry too much about it, she obviously isn't comfortable with it and therefore you might want to ease up on her about sex during that time!

IF you are the one who doesn't want to have sex while she is on her period then I can understand why she would be less inclined to pleasure you - it can't always be one sided! You clearly don't like to be left hanging and I am sure you can appreciate that perhaps that might be how SHE feels too when intercourse isn't the end result.

IF however, she is the one who doesn't want intercourse and you are OK with it, then perhaps open up a dialogue with her about it! Perhaps she doesn't realize that you're fine with it? Sometimes talking it out can bring great results!

Whatever the outcome, try not to push it one way or another and remember that sometimes our partners are just not going to be in the mood and we have to respect that!

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012):

The question is OP are you willing to have sex with her on her period? If not and you only want her to pleasure you then yeah it's not fair on her. If you won't have sex with her while on her period or pleasure her then don't ask for her to do that.

If it's a case she doesn't like the idea of sex on her period then do some research on the subject and be able to tell her the benefits which are very substantial.

But it's down to personal preference OP if she doesn't like it and won't do it like most women, then you have to stop being a pest and just masturbate while she is.

I love sex on my girlfriends period, it's never been gross to me. She's far more sensitive physically and has better orgasms, sex lightens her flow and relieves her cramps and she gets very horny on her period too.

But if she can't have pleasure on it then you have no right to ask her and tease her if you won't pleasure her while she's on it and if she's made a decision not to have sex on her period then just go have a wank for yourself.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012):

Yes it's wrong to be frustrated and you need to get over it and respect her. She's trying to be nice about it, but give the girl a break....as it's been explained to you in below responses various reasons OP, you are out of line and you can survive for a week. What she really wants is to be held, comforted and to feel close during this time, but just before and the first day or two, she may not want to be touched and may be genuinely be feeling bad and not wanting to have anything to do with sex.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 December 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIt’s not wrong for you to be frustrated. BUT it is wrong of you to DEMAND satisfaction. I suggest you stop hooking up when she knows she’s “out of commission”

Let me ask you this OP, when you have what I like to call “intestinal DIS-fortitude” (not a real word but I can never spell diarrhea) do you feel like having sex? When you have a belly ache or a headache or muscle aches do you feel at your best? Do you feel sexy and desirable? I doubt it.

Well I can tell you that on the first few days of a period especially for a woman who has not had a pregnancy and a child, she feels like crap. Many young women have not only cramps but heavy bleeding with clots, and diarrhea along with uterine cramps, body aches, sore breasts, nausea etc… All these things tend to not make you feel very sexy or hot.

Now if it’s at the tail end of her period she still may not want to have intercourse because of her own personal issues (it’s messy and gross etc) and that’s a personal choice. And much as I agree with pleasuring my man when he asks, she may not be into giving you blow jobs or hand jobs when she feels she’s getting nothing in return.

The truth is it’s what 1 week out of 3 that she’s “down for the count” Its’ not much time in the span of life. So spend that week doing things other than “hooking up”

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012):

Well my reason is pretty obvious to me cindy, but yeah its a personal preference to the individual lol

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 December 2012):

Honeypie agony auntedit// cramps not craps lol.//

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012):

Totally agree with everyone else here, plus it wouldn't hurt to remember that she is missing out too at this time of the month so it's not fair for you to make out that it is just you that isn't getting any...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 December 2012):

Honeypie agony auntSome women and men swear by sex while the woman is on her period, others just won't/can't do it.

YOU need to respect that she doesn't LIKE sex while on her period and if you are THAT much in need I'm sure you have two good hands. It's not her job to "service" you as you see fit.

IF she has bad craps it kind of feel like someone stuck a hand mixer up her wazoo and hit high. NOT a feeling that makes a women think about sex.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (7 December 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt Obvious reasons ? Ill? Gross ? Dirty ?...Whoa !! Lots of menstrual taboos still around , uh ?... never mind. Got it , this is a personal sexual choice and there's no right or wrong.

So, apparently your gf does not feel comfortable having intercourse during her period, so it makes sense that she does not want to make you all hot and bothered if she knows it's not going to happen.

She could still satisfy you orally or manually, I guess, but, either she just did not think of it, or she feels it would be lopsided , sort of what's in it for me kind of thing :)

You could either explain her ( diplomatically, please ) that you understand how she does not want be TOO intimate in these days and you will respect her boundaries, but that would not necessarily mean that all sexual acts are off the table.

Or, even better, come on, dude, you have plenty of sex all the rest of the month !, what's the big deal, just leave her alone those 4 -5 days a month and play cards or videogames or whatnot. Relationships need compromises , at times.

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A female reader, peteloevely United Kingdom +, writes (7 December 2012):

peteloevely agony auntStop winging is only 5 days a month...

Concentrate on nurturing her throw it so that it will pass fast smooth and you can both go back to the sex life you both want...

is normal that she be horny during that time of the moth, but the pain may be to intense to concentrate or maybe she is just one of those people who feel is a bit grosses to have sex when the area is so messed up… at the end of the day whiles on a period your insides are being tare out and the pain is excruciating (for some), most of us take that time to seek peace and spend time on our own.

i am sure been on her period every single moth is not party for her, a little sympathy is required from the man who claims to love you!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012):

I've found it common that women prefer not to have sex while on a period, and to be honest I've not wanted to have sex with a woman on her period either for obvious reasons.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012):

Would you like to be made all horny when blood and slime was constantly leaking out of your genitals and your back and stomach and penis were hurting? Would you like to satisfy your gf when you wouldn't feel comfortable with the thought of her satisfying you back and it made you horny to touch her but you couldn't act on it?

I'm a woman and I don't like to have sex when on my period. Because I'm scared the guy will find it ugly when there's blood and stuff smeared all over his penis. Plus I have cramps sometimes and the whole area is hurting and tense, I don't think it would be easy to have sex like that.

So I can understand your gf.

Maybe you don't get that because you're a guy, but having the period can be REALLY annoying. I hate it every time, I feel like this is more a sickness than anything else.

So instead of being frustrated, give her some space when she's on her period and look forward to when it's over. So will she.

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