A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and I just got engaged about 2 months ago. Since becoming engaged, he has told me that he thinks the word "fiancé" is stupid and he's not going to say it…so he continues to call me his girlfriend instead. He is also embarrassed to tell his "friends" because he says they will tease him and tell him he's stupid for getting married again (we've each been married and divorced once before). Once I even felt compelled to hide my hand when we unexpectedly ran into two of his friends. My fiancé acted like that was a sweet thing for me to do (hide the ring). I actually felt quite stupid and bad and sort of like a child having to hide this from grown men because of their potential ridiculous childlike behavior. We accepted an invitation to meet some friends of his out one night recently. One of the men that my fiancé is especially close with was going to be there. He still did not know about our engagement. My fiancé was visibly shaking and reluctant as we approached the restaurant. I could tell it was like he was dreading the moment when he would have to "confess" that we were engaged. My fiancé shared with me afterward that another of the men's response (when the women were out of earshot) was "turn around so I can kick you in the ***". Basically saying that he's stupid for getting married again. Is it wrong for me to feel bad about this? My finance is a GROWN man! What kind of "friends" are these? Why won't he stick up for me and for us and say "I love her! She's the best thing that even happened to me! Why would you give your opinion, especially that I didn't ask." OR some thing to that effect. If I told a friend of mine of my engagement and she told me I was stupid or that she should kick me for my stupidity, we wouldn't be friends anymore. I am a good woman. Smart, educated, nice looking, kind. I love his kids. I am not a stupid floozy that is going to ruin his life. I want him to be proud of me. Not want to hide me or be ashamed of me because his friends "opinions" are more important. Am I missing something here?
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 October 2014):
 Your man is spineless. He needs to not worry so much about the ribbing of others. What's going to happen when you marry? Is he going to introduce you as his sister??
He needs to realize that your opinion is the one that should matter most. "Fiance" is the correct term for it. No, you're not asking him to call you a baby pet name in front of the guys...but if he can't stand up for himself, then what's going to happen after he's married? Will he hide behind your skirts? Do his buddies know about some other woman he's with behind your back? That's usually one reason why he'd hide you - his behavior is philandering.
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