A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I've been seeing this guy and we have met loads of times, been on plenty of dates, ive met his family and stayed at his and are now dating for about two monthsand ive noticed hes still on the dating app... which i find insulting.. but he says hes just on it for the 'humor/banter' of it and sometimes sends me printscreens of riduclous things girls have said to him etc so he knowns i know that hes still using it - i brought it up one time that I've deleted those types of apps so he deleted his too right in front of me he doesnt know anybody from around here, like not one person as hes told me this, hes orginally from a place like hundreds and hundreds of miles away, yet he keeps becoming friends with girls who are near by who hes got no mutal friends with.. to me that means hes still meeting/messaging girls from off the internet which i find so insulting - i only found out because i am mutal friends with one of the girls and it came up on my newsfeedit honestly really bothers me but i cant exactly turn around and be like "HOW DO U KNOW HER???" but i keep going into strops and huffs with him every time i see it on my newsfeed so i finally brought up how he knows one of the girls as i know her through a mutual friend and he admitted he's back on POF but its just to make friendsShould i be okay with the fact he's still meeting/messaging girls off a dating app (taking into consideration thats how we met) - even if it is, his words, 'to make friends'?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2015): I think you end it. Why are you torturing yourself with this? He is a liar. He is shopping around. He is treating you like you're stupid. If it helps I am two years into a relationship and found out a week ago that my boyfriend was messaging girls 4 months into our relationship. Even now my perception of him has entirely changed. I have zero respect now and think the start of our relationship which should be the best was a pack of lies. He claimed he was "just being nosey". They come up with some rubbish excuses don't they.
A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (23 July 2015):
 Babes, you need to dump him x
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A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (23 July 2015):
I read this, and my head went - LIES, LIES!!
You should ask him straight up where the two of you stand, and why he's adding random (female) people as friends. Is he using the dating app to find male friends too? Because if he's finding new friends - why only females?
He's probably not too serious, and you should ask him for his honest reply, and take a decision accordingly.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2015): Don't be a complete mug and believe this bullshit. On a dating site to make friends?? That is utter crap and I think you know it. Stop getting huffy about it and dump the idiot. Let him carry on where he can't hurt anyone - alone.
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A
male
reader, IanHenryCooper +, writes (23 July 2015):
 I believe in Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy and every word that politicians say.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2015): I would give him an ultimatum its you or the dating site he is clearly not on there to make friends there are plenty of other ways to make friends he is on a dating site that would make me very suspicious if I were you ask him how he would feel if you were on a dating site while you were dating see what his answer to that one would be good luck
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 July 2015):
 But there are lots of sites for just making friends , if he wants platonic friends why is he on a DATING site ?
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (23 July 2015):
 you KNOW this guy is lying to you. please don't continue to doubt yourself. as dating sites go, i have heard that POF is one of the more sleazy ones, so personally i would not believe anyone who says they're on it just looking for platonic friends. if he is so innocent, why not ask him for his password so you can log on and have a look what he is up to? i bet i know what his answer would be
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2015): He may enjoy your company but he's still window shopping. In other worsa he's not serious about you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 July 2015):
 He's on a dating site to make friends. Ah. Right. That's how all BFFs become BFFs; they meet their BFF on a dating site.
Should you be okay with him hanging out on a dating site, friending and messaging random girls. Who aren't on POF to make friends, they're on POF to find a guy to date.
I would assign this one to the dustbin of history. He's still out there with his shopping cart, hoping to find someone who will replace you in short order.
Kick him to the curb!
You could always ask him Mum when you see her next about what she thinks about POF.
But honestly, he's not a keeper. He's not into you enough to end his POF chatting.
Do yourself a favor, end it, block him. You might feel sad and low for a bit but then when you meet the right guy for you, you'll be thankful you didn't hang on to a very iffy dude.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 July 2015):
 I'm with WiseOwlE
He isn't serious about you if he is still "fishing" the pond (being on dating sites) he might claim he is making friends, but really... they are ALL girls?
Would YOU go look for MALE friend on a dating site/app ? Or if you were looking for friends.. would you look for males one?
To me it looks like he is keeping his options open, he is "sort of" dating you but still checking out and meeting new girls under the "pretense" (at least to you) that he is looking for new "friends".
There are plenty of "friends" apps like meetup etc, but he is using one that is for dating/hook ups...
He is playing dumb or.. treating YOU like you are dumb.
Sorry, I'd say bye bye... because he has NO intentions of stopping what he is doing, he think his excuse is totally justified.
2 months in... he should be ALL about the two of you. Not a whole slew of girls...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2015): You're dating and not a committed and exclusive couple yet.
You should ask him if he is serious, and how does he plan to prove to you that he isn't dating other people while seeing you? Set your rules about what you expect while dating. If you want to be exclusive, you both have to come to that agreement. This means, he should not be active on a DATING SITE for any reason. Why do all the friends he makes have to be females?
How would he feel, if you were active on the [dating site]; and making friends with other guys? If it doesn't bother him; then you're wasting your time being mad about it. Because if he doesn't care; he is only dating you and has no intention of committing, or being exclusive. If you're still unofficial after two months; then it is likely you are more into him, than he is into you.
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