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'J' and 'A' text me all the time but which one should I go for?

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Question - (2 June 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 2 June 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *nbetweentwo writes:

Dear Whoever,

I need help! I have two guys who both like me and are trying to get me. They are best friends. I don't want to hurt either of them. One of them told me he likes me... J. He is so nice. He always texts me when i text him. Everyone is telling me not to date him. They say hes a player and just trying to get me for the physical part. I really like him. He is so nice to me but they say he is a jerk. Now Ive tried to sort this out on my own. I said that if J isn't going to text me first well im not going to text him. Well i haven't talked to him since like yesterday. We talk all the time though. I don't know what to do. I want to text him so bad.

Then there is the other guy...A he is so nice. I can't believer how nice he is. He texts me all the time. We used to have something but kind of fell apart when J came in the picture. Now hes starting to text me again. He won't tell me if he likes me or not but i think he does. He was a friend from a couple years ago. I used to hang out with him when he was my ex boyfriends best friend. After we broke up i didn't see him anymore. Then we got into a texting relationship. Now i don't know.

I have two amazing guys who i think both like me. I don't know if J is mad at me or if he is just busy and can't text me. I don't know if A actually likes me or not but its eating me up. I need to know who to choose. Im a freshman and they are both juniors. My parents won't let me date. That is why im just texting both of them. I want to date one of them but can't choose between the two. i know my parents would let me date one of them if they got to know them. I just need to know who to go for. PLease help me before they both get mad! THanks for all your help

a girl whos in between two guys

View related questions: best friend, broke up, my ex, player, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009):

Whoops, sorry, worded it wrong. I mean it isn't JUST for over 16's or 18's (incase people think there is an age restriction). Luckily the poster knew what I was on about!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 June 2009):

Honeypie agony auntOk here is what I think. If you aren't sure then get to know them OTHER then text. That means get to talk to them FACE to FACE. Yeah I know texting is so popular these days but really what you get to know and "see" of a person is a FRACTION of who they really are.

Since you are 14 I would suggest you LISTEN to the people telling you one of them is a player.

Also if you are going to spend time with them face to face - do it in a group situation, so nothing can get out of hand. That way you can also benefit from insights from your friends.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009):

I'm sorry- 'heretohelpx'- why did you say;

'This site isn't for over 16's or 18's' ?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009):

I think you've answered your question there and have your mind set on J. If you are going to go for him then please be careful IF he is a 'player'. Bear in mind that 'players' will do anything to get into a girls knickers. On the other hand I don't want you to be suspicious of all boys that are nice ! Lol. Just go with what feels right.

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A female reader, inbetweentwo United States +, writes (2 June 2009):

inbetweentwo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you for all your help im 14 but i needed help and i thought if i put my real age it would totally just let me not do this... J actually tries. He keeps talking to me actually in person. When i see him he comes over and talks to me. He told his dad that we had a thing. He also told his dad that he really likes me. and i know its true cause his dad came up to me and started talking to me at softball. A is nice tho. I don't think he likes me maybe a little bit but I don't know for a fact and i don't want to waste my time on him if its not going to work. I don't know who to choose. Im kind of leading towards J. ????????????????????????????????

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A female reader, xoxbeckham18 United States +, writes (2 June 2009):

i think u should go with A. J seems like this guy i used to know. i gave up my boyfriend for him and he ended up just wanting to get in my pants. by then tho i had lost the other really good guy. go with A.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009):

Why is the age bracket 26-29? You needn't worry... This site isn't for over 16's or 18's.

I'm not going to say don't date cos your parents say so, cos I know you won't listen lol. If you have proof from other people that 'J' is a player, then steer clear. 'A' seems more of a reliable guy and you've known him longer. If you chose 'A' then you also have the take the risk of being rejected as you don't know how he feels, where as i'm assuming J is giving signals that he likes you?

I think you should weigh out the options and see who you like and trust most - just don't play them both cos it will end badly if you do!

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A female reader, inbetweentwo United States +, writes (2 June 2009):

inbetweentwo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Because J actually tries. My parents and i were eating and he came and sat down beside my mom and started talking to me. A hasn't even talked to me in person since i don't know when. J always looks at me and smiles and he just flirts with me a lot. I don't know though maybe ill take your advice thanks

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A female reader, fabulousone United States +, writes (2 June 2009):

J doesn't like you. He wants to get you--but he doesn't like you. If you're planning a relationship with him you can forget about the "love" and the "monogamy" part right there--because it ain't happenin' with him.

A likes you a lot.

Go with A. Stop texting J.

And if there's a problem, stop being friends with J.

(..why would you pick J over A, anyway? You kind of answered your own question.)

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