A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,im need of a really strong push in the right direction of a certain girl i really like. its typical really, shes stunningly attractive to me (my friends say shes average, pfft what do they know). iv liked her all summer, but everytime i see her i just freeze like stone unable to utter a simple hi or goodmorning, its driving me nuts, im at the point were i just wanna ask her out and get it over and done with but then i see her and freeze again. trouble is im a shy quiet guy, low in confidence and very self aware of what ppl think of me. ive never really talked to the girl cause of my shyness, but i always smile and look whenever i see her walk by (in my place of work). she has smiled and looked at me a few times and iv smiled back, but i just have this problem of starting conversations out of the blue. i know nothing is a sure win when i comes to asking anyone out, if it was id have asked a everyone iv ever fancied. theres just that nagging feeling i have that what if, what if shes got a boyfriend or what if she says shes not interested in going out for a drink. i just need to get a bit of courage
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (27 December 2007):
 What have you got to lose? I think is the key to this. I used to be a shy guy until I went away on a holiday one time about 5 years ago. I met loads of people and really enjoyed myself.
I remember it like it was yesterday. The next day on the flight home I remember thinking why can't it be like this back home? The thing is I was away on holiday and would never likely see these people again, so I was able to relax, be myself and just have a good time.
Now, I'm the same no matter where I am. I think you put too much pressure on yourself. Everyone has said the wrong thing or blown it some time or other. It actually makes me laugh when I look back at some of the things I said, and blew it. At the end of the day the only way to get better at anything is to do it more and more often.
I tend to find a couple of pints of Guiness do the trick if I'm not relaxed but certainly wouldn't reccommend getting drunk.
Just start the conversation and ask a question. Then see where it goes. Ask more questions. Have a laugh and just enjoy it.
BE YOURSELF. I still get moments where a girl smiles at me and most of the time I think they must be looking at someone behind me. Just smile back then go talk to them later on.
I love Somethingeasy's response: "start out small, by saying hi to ugly girls first". I say; just say hi to anyone who takes your fancy. What's the WORST that could happen? They could blank/ignore you... BIG DEAL.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): i was in this same state of mind at the start of this year. i just had to pluck up the courage and speak to the girl. After all if she is smiling at you there has to be a reason for it. since its just after xmas you may want to ask her if she had any relatives over or what presents she had. see how things work out from there. Don't just force yourself upon the girl. take your time, get to know her.
best of luck
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A
male
reader, Somethingeasy  +, writes (27 December 2007):
 You should build up courage. Odds are you are not going to be able to say hi to this girl. Start out small, by saying hi to ugly girls first. Eventually you will have the courage to ask the ones you want out.
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