A
male
age
30-35,
*enitoDavo
writes:I have just broken up with my girlfriend of 4 years. Properly upsetting for both of us. It was me who took the steps to breaking cause in the last few months we couldn't stop arguing. And we could only see each other at certain times cause we lived 60 miles apart parts of the year. I thought I was doing the right thing.But I'm instantly regretting this decision it's huge and never thought I would be this upset. Is this normal. What can I do to forget about it? Or have I made a huge mistake, Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (8 August 2013):
 Benito,
You've just lost your best friend of the past 4 years, so you're bound to feel regret even though the decision was probably right.
If it took months before you could make a decision to break up, then your decision was probably well thought out and you took the right course of action. Try not to let your immediate feelings (loss, grief, doubt) overcome the logical reasons you had to end the relationship.
You can't forget about it I'm afraid. It takes time to get over the loss, even as the one who ended it. Allow yourself that time.
What not to do: tell your ex that you regret it. It may place seeds of hope of a reunion in her mind, and that would be unfair. Don't try to be her friend, st least in these very early stages. Again, it causes confusion.
What to do: keep busy, socialise with your pals, don't look for a rebound relationship/ FWB.
Give it time.
All the best x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2013): It's normal to have second thoughts or regrets. Just remember the reasons you were forced to do it.
It was a very hard decision. Read your post a couple of times to remind yourself why you did it. Think about how annoying it was to always be arguing.
If you fight with someone more than you get along, it's a good reason to breakup. You live too far apart and that costs a lot when it comes to petrol.
You're young, and you really need to have some fun. Wait before you start dating. You don't want to date on the rebound. Just hangout with your friends and stay busy.
Give yourself some time, and stick by your decision.
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