A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl about a year ago. The problem is that I've fallen completely in love with her, like nothing I've ever felt before. She's in all my dreams, my thoughts, I can't get her out of my head. Here's my problem:I'm 18 years old and she's 23. She acts as if she's my age, and I love that about her. For the past couple of months, we've talked on the phone EVERY DAY, even for hours. The majority of the phone calls come from her. There hasn't been a missed day without us talking. She has a boyfriend. Even on vacation out of state, she would still call me. From what I believe, there is no age to true love. The thought of her boyfriend depresses me. I've noticed that when she talks to him on the phone, she isn't exactly polite and sometimes argues a bit.What can I do to show her that I can't live without her, that she's the only one I want to be with? If she calls me every day for hours, that has to be some sign? I would say more, but I would really like more personal advice rather than a published answer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really do love her, but I can't seem to move on or forget about her.
Can any other female readers give me some advice?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): I would hesitate to get your hopes up too high. It sounds like you are firmly entrenched in the area of "friend." Men often times think a girl is into them because they talk to them alot. This simply isn't the case. She feels comfortable talking to you. I understand that men tend to fall in love with their close friends. Women almost always want their close friends to remain just as they are. One of the biggest reasons is that the sexual tension tends to go away when we become comfortable talking to a guy.
If you truly love her you should wait awhile. Be there for her as a friend. Someday she may see you the way you want her to but now isn't the time
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea I'll definitely talk to her.How should I bring it up though? It's making me very nervous now..I feel that if i dont tell her, i'll be killing myself slowly..
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (2 June 2008):
 I'm sure she appreciates it... I'm still standing firm on my original advise. Find her, talk to her... tell her how you feel... as a friend of mine just told me, you never know until you try... sound, if not sage, advise!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat kind of "subtle hints" can i throw at her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not sure how she is with her bf when i'm not around, but whenever she's with me she almost rushes him off the phone, like "yea yea ok sure whatever etc.."
I'm always there for her when she needs the help also, I'm hoping she appreciates it..
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (2 June 2008):
Well, it's gallant to be concerned about the "other fellow", but it seems that he's the way out the door. But, you're in a great position to know more about their relationship than any of us. I still think that you should start fielding hints (at least) in her direction... just be subtle until you're convinced the (soon to be ex?) BF is headed for the door.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm nervous about what she would say, I don't want this to affect our friendship at all..
We also text all day long back and forth, we've obviously hung out before also.
Being 18, I'm just nervous about what would happen with her boyfriend..
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (2 June 2008):
Well, you're further ahead of the game than you seem to think. If you two are constantly speaking on the phone, doesn't that tell you that there's a deep friendship there?
What I think you need here is a little old-fashioned honest conversation, a little risk and a face-to-face conversation with her. I think that you should go out on a limb here and tell her how you're feeling... maybe a little hand-holding during the conversation? ...a peck on the cheek?
Basically all I'm saying is it seems the stage has been set... we're all waiting for the lead actor (you) to step into the spotlight! Go for it!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): She seems like she likes you, even if it's a good friend.
The thought of her and her boyfriend arguing may get you upbeat, so just be patient, be a friend. If you love her, you care about her more than you care about you yourself. Therefore, being there for her and putting your feelings aside - however hard - is the right thing to do.
However this relationship has potential and if the time feels right, then tell her.
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