Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 Relationships usually involve being intimate, yes, so they naturally lead to sex. If you dont want sex or kissing or being intimate you are only being friends and not boyfriend/girlfriend.
However, if you want to wait until marriage with having sex then you tell him that and you wait until after you are married.
Bottom line is that you must do it when you feel ready to. Yes relationships always goes towards being intimate and having sex, but at your own speed! If you want to wait with taking the next step then you wait.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI enjoyed it but I am afraid to let him touch me. Is this suppose to be the way in a relationship? Getting all physical as time passes?
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A
male
reader, Dekten  +, writes (22 April 2010):
There's a really simple answer here:
You should allow him to do that IF and ONLY IF that's what YOU want too.
If you do happen to like heavy petting, then whatever happens next is ALSO up to you. You have no obligation whatsoever.
They key here, however, is to communicate clearly what you want -- both with yourself and with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): only let him do it if ur comfortable with it, but have a chat when yous are not making out and let him know that u r not ready for sex.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 and don't fall for the blue balls story once you tell him "no", that's a crock.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): If that's what you want then let him.
A word of warning though once you start a guys engine it's hard to find the brakes
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): What do you want to do? What are your morals? Do your morals allow that? Are you fine with it. Make it clear to him that you don't want sex after if you are to allow it. Don't do it if you don't want to. You can always wait until something more long term comes along
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Yes, that will give him the message that you want the kissing to lead to sex. If you don't want to have sex with him yet, tell him you are not ready now so he doesn't get the wrong idea.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (22 April 2010):
I think you could qualify that as heavy petting, although I've never heard the term "heavy petting" before. I think it most definitely will lead to sex since you are allowing him one step closer. If you do not want to have sex with him be clear on that, and if you do not want sex with him you shouldn't allow him to touch you down there either as that is considered a sexual act.
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A
male
reader, yankit +, writes (22 April 2010):
Yes it's "heavy petting" and trust me it WILL lead to other things. He needs to know what stop means. A women is only a virgin once. Save the experience for the wedding night. That may sound old fashioned but he will always remember the "gift" of being the first OR always wonder if he was the first
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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: